I am also a creative personality (writer) with flair for the dramatic at times. I can totally relate to your feelings. I shared everything with my AXBF and I feel it very difficult to not have contact now. I get by from writing here and from writing a journal to him that I won't send. I am trying to meet other people and focus on other activities. You're not alone though, I do feel the same as you.

The problem with cracking no contact when you're feeling really sad and down - is that they don't have anything to offer. It's one of the things that upset me the most even when we were happy. He is filled with so much of his own pain, and numb with alcohol/drugs, that he doesn't know how to help someone else with emotion. I have been very sick before and also had to put down one of my dogs. He was emotionally vacant and too lazy to take care of me.

Mary, I broke it too.

HA.

But it had a good outcome so I feel ok about breaking it. I decided to just sit back and let him contact me from here on out.

1/2 no contact?

I will find any way to justify it so I realize going NC is incredibly difficult for me but he was never mean or abusive, just kind of thoughtless and selfish.