Very true. I've learned in the past year that manipulation comes in many forms and it's not always addiction related. Thanks for all your opinions! I love a good discussion and have learned alot from all of you. :-)

One more point to ponder about the manipulation part. When you find out this has happened before. (Almost verbatum) And not that long ago..........................it makes more sense. Many have forgotten, but I think he still remembers.

I will be strong in MY recovery of not allowing people to manipulate me and will set boundaries that I will keep. I will not pay attention to those who judge me and I will walk MY path with my head held high and my friends in my heart.

I feel the same way KIKI does, I will not allow it, he used to make me feel guilty, or sorry for him, but now if I think it's going in that direction, I say, wait a minute I'm feeling manipulated and I say it out loud. He always says he doesnt mean it that way, and it could be that I'm conditioned to it after recoginizing the manipulations after so many years. It pisses me off when I feel that I'm being led down that old codie road...

My husband has been dry--not nec. "sober"-- for 24 days. Sometimes he is sooo nice, just like before all this started, other times he acts like he's still in the evil fog. It's hard for me to figure out what is reality and what is just his spin. Like, should it be okay for me to go out with a female friend and leave him home alone, because he didn't feel like going? I know the answer but I seriously find myself having to think about it! I know that he technically is brain-damaged, from the drink, and that alcoholism is a disease, and he's not to blame.... But he's so masterful at pushing my buttons it's hard to believe he doesn't know what he's doing is hurtful... Poor, pitiful me ;)