Okay... and his friends enable him by being okay with him using. How do you think *he* would feel if all he has are the drug friends?

alone and hopeless. he'd probably start using consistently again.

Oh well..... it's not like you can control him not using more and more. You can't cure him. He's going to do what he's going to do.

My guy started tapering on his subs and I'll admit -- it made me nervous. I didn't trust that he would stay off the pills if he came off the subs. Our relationship didn't make it to play out the "what if" .... but I think to myself - what in the heck am I doing? I am putting so much energy into what he is or isn't doing. And then my life became totally unmanageable, as a result.

I am all for letting the addict go .... getting out of the way .... so that he can hit his bottom..... cause that is what is to happen for him to truly seek recovery.

So - I'm out of the way now. I can't take any blame for what happens - because he is a grown man and he can CHOOSE to find happiness or live in misery. That is for him to figure out - there is NOTHING I can do to make him reach that point. Maybe our splitting up will be it?? I don't think so, though. But I might be wrong. Guess we'll see - but in the mean time- I have some major "cleaning house" to do.... and to work on myself!

he just got home and went straight to the shower.
he walked in wearing a new shirt. with an arizona iced tea. he had no money. where'd he get a new shirt and iced tea? and where's he been? i'm going to bed and i'm going to try not to ask.

thanks for your wise words tonight.