OT suffering in scilence
 

For years now I have been suffering in scilence over my health anxiety issues, but since many people I know have passed from cancer as well as Dakota getting cancer my head has been filled with thoughts that I have cancer. You see when I was carring the twins my bellybutton hurt and I told the doctor, but he said it was normal and then after they were born it still hurt just not a bad, but over the years the pain is still there and has since gotten worse. I have a knot to the right of my bellybutton you can't see it, but I can feel it.. it hurts from time to time especially if I sit to long or have been on my feet to much.

Anyhow after fighting going to the doctors for years now .. i finally couldn't stand the mental torture I was putting myself through and went. I had a pap, breast examine, blood work done and asked her to check for a hernia .. she said she couldn't feel one. Honestly I don't think she was feeling in the right area and I was a nervouse wreck so I didn't say anything. I started thinking if she couldn't feel a hernia then the pain I've been feeling is probably cancer of some sort.

So now she scheduled an ultrasound to be done on June 2nd to check my abdominal area. I am scared to death they are going to find cancer.

These fears have caused major panic attacks and my life has been a living hell .. I wasn't focused on myself during Dakota's chemo, but now since she has been off treatment and doing great for 7 months I've had plenty of time to go internal on myself.

The blood work came back normal
Doc said my cervix felt normal, but still waiting on pap results
(she said she didn't feel anything abnormal in my breast, but she is sending me for a "routin" mamogram)

I am so surprised that my hormones came back normal I thought for sure I was perimenopausal .. I have so many of the symptoms ... missed periods, hot flash, weepy, but she says no ... so I figure then there has got to be something wrong for sure or why else would I feel this way.

I am worried sick that they are going to find something wrong with me.

The doctor did say that she thought I was depressed and I agree with her.
I am so tired of the living the way I have been living tortured and rittled with fear minute by minute.

Please pray for me and that the ultrasound shows nothing that is not repairable. I'm so scared, actually terrified. I got kids that need me.

Humbly,
Passion

Passion as always you are in my prayers and I really do feel that you will be okay. I believe with the stress of everything that has happened to you the past couple of years, then problems with your husband and now depression could be making you have this anxiety you are feeling. Passion hand it over to your HP!!

hugs and prayers to you,
Jewelz

I'm glad you decided to go and get this checked and I'm praying that there's nothing wrong. (((Passion))))
:praying

Dear Passion, I will keep you in my prayers. I truly believe you will be ok. Your HP KNOWS how badly your children need you.
Love,
Diane

Expect a call! I'm stunned and worried sick.:praying

stress can make it self known/seen in many ways!
Prayers for more good news.
susan

Passion,
Now what is it, that Ann always says about worrying about the future?
(darn...knew I wouldn't remember!)

But anyway...stress can kill, it does kill people, so, I suggest, trying to get a grip...(easy to say...hard to do, I know) take a deeep breath, and try some relaxation exercises....lie on your side on the floor and lift your leg until you can't do it anymore. Then turn and do the other side....

Seems to me if it was something awful, the Dr. would have been able to palpate it...

I'm praying it all comes out okay, Passion....

Have you ever had any abdominal surgery?

Hugs, and prayers....

Nyte
We have watched you go through soooo much stress over the last few years. It is no wonder that your body is telling you to get yourself checked out. I am very proud of you for going to the doctor. That is a major fear for me to take that first step. Also I am grateful that the tests have come back normal.
My body has to really kick me in the a$$ before I pay attention to Me and my health! You know us codies, always taking care of others first. Now that Dakota is doing so well, let's make sure you are healthy.
I will say prayers that everything turns out OK when you go back to the doctor.
Hugs to you and your kids.

Prayers for you, Nyte. I was thinking hernia also. I hope the tests go well :)

i am 2 weeks late for my periods (not pregnant). i think its stress so try not to focus on that too much best wishes hope all is ok xx

Nyte -

sounds pretty much like an umbilical hernia to me. They can be difficult to feel at times -since they are a pooching through the abdominal wall they can slip back in and not be felt. If you were lying down and not having any abdominal pressure when she felt for it she would not have been able to feel it.

I do the same thing about health anxieties...it's always worse when I am under stress but I can get extremely panicy....I finally was put on Zoloft and that helped to control some of my obsessive thoughts and quell the health anxieties a lot. It definitely helped with a low level depression.

I feel in my heart that you are just fine but I know that you must be completely worn out and fried from everything that you have gone through. We are here to hold your hand as you wait for tests....no matter what it is nerve racking. I've had to have tons and tons of abdominal ultrasounds and it always made me nervous (I had an ovarian cyst that they watched for years). Everything turned out well and I just feel deep down inside that you are just fine....

thinking about you - let me know how I can help. Love!

holding your hand thru the scary parts.

Hugs and love
Cats

(((Nyte)))

Sweetie, you've been through so much, just in the time I've been here, I really think your body is just telling you it needs a little break. Continued stress is hard on a body, and can come out in all kinds of symptoms.

We are all right there beside you through the tests. Please keep us posted.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

(((((passion)))))

Hang in there! Lots of prayers your way. Just close yourself, imagine yourself surrounded in white light. Think positive.

And PLEASE Keep us updated!

:praying:praying:praying