OT suffering in scilence
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
OT suffering in scilence
For years now I have been suffering in scilence over my health anxiety issues, but since many people I know have passed from cancer as well as Dakota getting cancer my head has been filled with thoughts that I have cancer. You see when I was carring the twins my bellybutton hurt and I told the doctor, but he said it was normal and then after they were born it still hurt just not a bad, but over the years the pain is still there and has since gotten worse. I have a knot to the right of my bellybutton you can't see it, but I can feel it.. it hurts from time to time especially if I sit to long or have been on my feet to much.
Anyhow after fighting going to the doctors for years now .. i finally couldn't stand the mental torture I was putting myself through and went. I had a pap, breast examine, blood work done and asked her to check for a hernia .. she said she couldn't feel one. Honestly I don't think she was feeling in the right area and I was a nervouse wreck so I didn't say anything. I started thinking if she couldn't feel a hernia then the pain I've been feeling is probably cancer of some sort.
So now she scheduled an ultrasound to be done on June 2nd to check my abdominal area. I am scared to death they are going to find cancer.
These fears have caused major panic attacks and my life has been a living hell .. I wasn't focused on myself during Dakota's chemo, but now since she has been off treatment and doing great for 7 months I've had plenty of time to go internal on myself.
The blood work came back normal
Doc said my cervix felt normal, but still waiting on pap results
(she said she didn't feel anything abnormal in my breast, but she is sending me for a "routin" mamogram)
I am so surprised that my hormones came back normal I thought for sure I was perimenopausal .. I have so many of the symptoms ... missed periods, hot flash, weepy, but she says no ... so I figure then there has got to be something wrong for sure or why else would I feel this way.
I am worried sick that they are going to find something wrong with me.
The doctor did say that she thought I was depressed and I agree with her.
I am so tired of the living the way I have been living tortured and rittled with fear minute by minute.
Please pray for me and that the ultrasound shows nothing that is not repairable. I'm so scared, actually terrified. I got kids that need me.
Humbly,
Passion
Anyhow after fighting going to the doctors for years now .. i finally couldn't stand the mental torture I was putting myself through and went. I had a pap, breast examine, blood work done and asked her to check for a hernia .. she said she couldn't feel one. Honestly I don't think she was feeling in the right area and I was a nervouse wreck so I didn't say anything. I started thinking if she couldn't feel a hernia then the pain I've been feeling is probably cancer of some sort.
So now she scheduled an ultrasound to be done on June 2nd to check my abdominal area. I am scared to death they are going to find cancer.
These fears have caused major panic attacks and my life has been a living hell .. I wasn't focused on myself during Dakota's chemo, but now since she has been off treatment and doing great for 7 months I've had plenty of time to go internal on myself.
The blood work came back normal
Doc said my cervix felt normal, but still waiting on pap results
(she said she didn't feel anything abnormal in my breast, but she is sending me for a "routin" mamogram)
I am so surprised that my hormones came back normal I thought for sure I was perimenopausal .. I have so many of the symptoms ... missed periods, hot flash, weepy, but she says no ... so I figure then there has got to be something wrong for sure or why else would I feel this way.
I am worried sick that they are going to find something wrong with me.
The doctor did say that she thought I was depressed and I agree with her.
I am so tired of the living the way I have been living tortured and rittled with fear minute by minute.
Please pray for me and that the ultrasound shows nothing that is not repairable. I'm so scared, actually terrified. I got kids that need me.
Humbly,
Passion
Just plainly tired
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: crossroads
Posts: 2,834
Passion as always you are in my prayers and I really do feel that you will be okay. I believe with the stress of everything that has happened to you the past couple of years, then problems with your husband and now depression could be making you have this anxiety you are feeling. Passion hand it over to your HP!!
hugs and prayers to you,
Jewelz
hugs and prayers to you,
Jewelz
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Passion,
Now what is it, that Ann always says about worrying about the future?
(darn...knew I wouldn't remember!)
But anyway...stress can kill, it does kill people, so, I suggest, trying to get a grip...(easy to say...hard to do, I know) take a deeep breath, and try some relaxation exercises....lie on your side on the floor and lift your leg until you can't do it anymore. Then turn and do the other side....
Seems to me if it was something awful, the Dr. would have been able to palpate it...
I'm praying it all comes out okay, Passion....
Have you ever had any abdominal surgery?
Hugs, and prayers....
Now what is it, that Ann always says about worrying about the future?
(darn...knew I wouldn't remember!)
But anyway...stress can kill, it does kill people, so, I suggest, trying to get a grip...(easy to say...hard to do, I know) take a deeep breath, and try some relaxation exercises....lie on your side on the floor and lift your leg until you can't do it anymore. Then turn and do the other side....
Seems to me if it was something awful, the Dr. would have been able to palpate it...
I'm praying it all comes out okay, Passion....
Have you ever had any abdominal surgery?
Hugs, and prayers....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
Nyte
We have watched you go through soooo much stress over the last few years. It is no wonder that your body is telling you to get yourself checked out. I am very proud of you for going to the doctor. That is a major fear for me to take that first step. Also I am grateful that the tests have come back normal.
My body has to really kick me in the a$$ before I pay attention to Me and my health! You know us codies, always taking care of others first. Now that Dakota is doing so well, let's make sure you are healthy.
I will say prayers that everything turns out OK when you go back to the doctor.
Hugs to you and your kids.
We have watched you go through soooo much stress over the last few years. It is no wonder that your body is telling you to get yourself checked out. I am very proud of you for going to the doctor. That is a major fear for me to take that first step. Also I am grateful that the tests have come back normal.
My body has to really kick me in the a$$ before I pay attention to Me and my health! You know us codies, always taking care of others first. Now that Dakota is doing so well, let's make sure you are healthy.
I will say prayers that everything turns out OK when you go back to the doctor.
Hugs to you and your kids.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Nyte -
sounds pretty much like an umbilical hernia to me. They can be difficult to feel at times -since they are a pooching through the abdominal wall they can slip back in and not be felt. If you were lying down and not having any abdominal pressure when she felt for it she would not have been able to feel it.
I do the same thing about health anxieties...it's always worse when I am under stress but I can get extremely panicy....I finally was put on Zoloft and that helped to control some of my obsessive thoughts and quell the health anxieties a lot. It definitely helped with a low level depression.
I feel in my heart that you are just fine but I know that you must be completely worn out and fried from everything that you have gone through. We are here to hold your hand as you wait for tests....no matter what it is nerve racking. I've had to have tons and tons of abdominal ultrasounds and it always made me nervous (I had an ovarian cyst that they watched for years). Everything turned out well and I just feel deep down inside that you are just fine....
thinking about you - let me know how I can help. Love!
sounds pretty much like an umbilical hernia to me. They can be difficult to feel at times -since they are a pooching through the abdominal wall they can slip back in and not be felt. If you were lying down and not having any abdominal pressure when she felt for it she would not have been able to feel it.
I do the same thing about health anxieties...it's always worse when I am under stress but I can get extremely panicy....I finally was put on Zoloft and that helped to control some of my obsessive thoughts and quell the health anxieties a lot. It definitely helped with a low level depression.
I feel in my heart that you are just fine but I know that you must be completely worn out and fried from everything that you have gone through. We are here to hold your hand as you wait for tests....no matter what it is nerve racking. I've had to have tons and tons of abdominal ultrasounds and it always made me nervous (I had an ovarian cyst that they watched for years). Everything turned out well and I just feel deep down inside that you are just fine....
thinking about you - let me know how I can help. Love!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Nyte)))
Sweetie, you've been through so much, just in the time I've been here, I really think your body is just telling you it needs a little break. Continued stress is hard on a body, and can come out in all kinds of symptoms.
We are all right there beside you through the tests. Please keep us posted.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Sweetie, you've been through so much, just in the time I've been here, I really think your body is just telling you it needs a little break. Continued stress is hard on a body, and can come out in all kinds of symptoms.
We are all right there beside you through the tests. Please keep us posted.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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