Penny for your thoughts 11
 

Im trying to carry on Teke's thread tradition of anyones thoughts, please share.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-10-a.html

got myself moved, am enjoying my new place and the chance to get rid of stuff and set things up in a new way. nice to move somewhere bigger but pay less rent just because it is on the back side of the building with a view inland rather than the ocean, but who cares, I had the ocean view for three years, now time for something different.

lets see, THANK GOD!!!! I have parents who can help me in the way they can, I know some of you are out there struggling and having to live in shelters and wondering where they can go, so I thank my lucky stars that my parents have the resources to help me out.

hmmm another thing -- a bit darker -- I am worried about my daughter's drug use, but I will leave that for another thread.

Hi everyone. Im declaring myself officially nuts. Why, I got a new member of my family today. His name is templeton and yes he's a rat, the cutest one Ive ever seen he thinks he lives on my shoulder and I love him. Pictures will be forthcoming. He's a Rex, meaning he has wavy hair and curled whiskers. My middle son is supposed to get his hamster next week, as it will finally be old enough, and now my oldest wants a rat too. We will see, starting with mine.
It could have been worse,,,I missed snuggling at night, Templeton is my compromise, minnie and snoopy the cats are quite interested...

Today Im doing a gratitude check. I am full of grattitude. friday night I got an updated rebuilt computer given to me, so Im hitting family up for extras for the old one to be my sons. I had a wonderful weekend at a private time share pool deck and today when visiting with family my aunt made arrangements to give me a 55 gallon aquarium...now will I use it for fish, turtles or rodents.hmmm....
and no what else...No HEADACHE today. YEAH. Kids want to watch Charlottes Web in honor of templeton, so check in a bit later

Evening everyone ALLLLRRIIIGGGHHHTTTYY NO MORE family things for a while lol. Went to the race track this morning and bet on some horses I WON 5.30 yep thats alot of mula. lol. After the big win we decided to leave plus we had ANOTHER family picnic kinda chilly in the shade though then we started a bomb fire yep in the day light so now I smell like a bomb fire its alright though I like the smell lol. Well off to put on the PJ's and call it a night. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

PS I was just asked if I could wash the dishes tomorrow YEAH RIGHT...... I just hid a stash of plastic cups for myself lol. OY maybe I should chalk this up to a lost cause.....

Hi everyone I havent been on this weekend that much Michael has kept me sooo busy.

I see teke hasnt been back... everytime I log on I hope to see her back on. I am going to say a special prayer for her tonight.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Teke has been on my mind, too. Does anyone know what's up with her? I haven't been on too much in the last several days, but I miss her!!

I LOVED Charlotte's Web! What a great name-Templeton. I haven't seen the new version but my kids and I watched tp cartoon version about a gazillion times.

I haven't bought into the Penny for your thoughs thread at all.. but I think I will since Cindy kept 'er going. I have been missing Teke too. She is an inspiration.

It was a wonderful weekend. I am taking an xtra day off today and I am liking it! I had my new dog go with me to visit old friends up at the tourist railroad and museum where I used to be a board memeber. Nice to see old friends and Atka was so well behaved.. sat there on the platform and just watched everything.. not a pest at all. She is such a GOOD DOG and for only 5 months old she is fantastic.

It is a beautful late sroing morning and so pretty out. My garden is planted (food garden) and today I am going to make some appointments and take care f some of the extra stuff I have to do that I hate to do from work (open office, no privacy).

Glad to hear you all are doing well. I had the rodent pet thing for awhile.. and you know.. I just would trather have a horse! I just don't have the room of the $$ right now!

Morning ladies not much to add will check back in later. A RAT????????????? Heard they make good pets but not sure they are good for me!!!

Morning everyone. Welcome Elana, glad its going well with your new dog.

Palmtree, I didnt think my cats would care, but boy was I wrong, keeping them a part is gonna be a challenge, and no I didnt sleep with him, but my son wanted too.

I have to say he is very very smart already. And a socialized Rat is the best Codie pet, why cause for those that like to be needed, he's sure needy. i read they get clingy of their owner if theres not another rat, and I can already see that. When I got up this morning and went to the computer he stuck his head out of his sleep box, then came out when I say Hi templeton from across the room. So I stuck my hand in the cage and he ran up my arm and perched himself on my shoulder. Very cute. One of the guys I work with says having a rat on my shoulder is guaranteed to keep my AH away. I laughed, AH would freak, maybe thats why I got him, because I could.

My sister said last night I should have named him shredder, because in the livingroom theres 4 teenage turtles swimming in a tank. HAHA. I hate that movie, but I may have to take a video of the 5 together as a remake to enhance my creative side.

Jewelz, sorry Michaels kept you so busy, hopefully its in a fun non sick way.

Duet, The new version of Charlottes Web is cute and the best part is the Rat, HeeHee.

I miss Teke too.

I need to get out some thoughts today, so Im gonna do so in a safe place, here.
Letter to AH:
I dont know how to say this, but through it all I still love you with soo much of my heart. So much has happened so much has changed. When we split, I think a part of me believed you'd fix it quick, even though I said I needed months of actions, Im not sure I knew what I wanted I just knew something had to change...
Saturday you called saying you were getting it together, things would be paid by Friday, you have a new desire and thats to be your sons active father role...I can not tell you how that makes me feel. For the boys sake, I hope you can do it..Its obvious you know things are strained between us no matter how much good comes and I think thats a break through. After the call I felt twisted unsure and trying not to get excited...then I let it go. Theres no guarantee or even expectation what tomorrow will bring. As awesome as help with the bills you should pay would be, I feel like this is a game, will he or wont he sorta thing. Its sad. I have no choice but to sell the house you are staying in, knowing that means..well whatever that means?

I jsut woke this morning feeling content. That's such an unfamilar feeling. Even before we met I was never "content" never really happy. Today all is okay, so bills are behind and the SUV needs work, Im at peace.

As much as I love and part of e would love a clean and sober you in my life, I cant imagine going back, I cant imagine taking the risk, Im not sure if I ever can. When we are together all greatness crumbles, We both become crazy people both blaming substances, for today I feel like a part of me is truly letting go of the dream for us, although Ill never give up hope that you will ahve a good life.

This feeling is so unfamilar, but getting a bit more comfortable moment by moment.
Remember Ill always love you, but life has to continue.
Sincerely


Thanks all for letting me share

Cinder I think thats a good letter. If your not sure if u want to give it to him hold onto it for a couple days then mail it to him. He really needs to show actions his words are just that words. I couldnt imagine living that way well I can cause I did. Your changing your becoming stronger and your "content" with the way things are for now. Your right even if he was clean whos to say it could or would go back to the way things used to be. In the last few months I have seen u change and evolve into a strong self confident women. For a while that person was in hiding but just as your pet rat stuck its head out of the box you have dug your head out of the place it once was. You should be proud and do what makes u happy and although I know you would like it to be with him well maybe thats just not to be for now.