Keith is gone
 

Keith died yesterday morning around 7am. He lived 2 days after being taken off the vent. I cried for a few minutes and took his girls and their mom to the hospital to say good bye. I didn't go in. I did not feel the need. I am fine with his passing, looking back over the last few months, I realize he was deep in addiction although at the time, I truly did not know until 6 weeks ago when I saw him with the crackhead on the back of his motorcycle at midnite. I am so fortunate, my sister flew in from Jersey, My daughter stayed home from work, picked me up [I lent my car to Keiths kids}I did work a few hours in the morning, it helped. His ex and the girls leave monday. I am having a problem with the deceit that I didn't see coming. First of all, the issue of the hepititis C that I wasn't aware of, then I opened my home depot credit card bill and found a $50 dollar gift card purchase for last month[not mine], and got a call from a collection agency , We had a joint checking for a short amt of time when we bought this house together. I thought I had destroyed the checks when we closed that account over a year ago. Well apparently, Keith kept a book of checks and there are 12 missing. Two of these checks have already been sent to credit collections, one has been forwarded to the state attorney...He signed them, but the original account was in both our names and I am responsible. I called the bank and the attorney that wrote up our agreements with the house. I feel like I have been physically assaulted from the grave..The lies, deceit, and filth he has brought into my life are appalling. I did not see this coming. One minute I grieve and the next I am so angry at him for his lies. Why does it seem that these addicts are so warm and caring, we love them sooo much, they have a vulnerability in them that makes us melt, and the next minute, they are stealing from us???This man did not even allow me to grieve him, I am now looking at defending myself from bounced checks, and possible hep C...Its funny, I don't hate him, I pity him and wish him peace..Marian

I'm sorry you're feeling so bad and I hope you can find some peace for yourself soon.

i'm so sorry for your loss, may he rest in peace.
i'm keeping you and his family in my prayers.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I will be thinking of you.

mairian, i am so sorry. i am sorry for him,another one lost to addiction. addicts are sick people, mentally,physically,& spritiualy. may he rest in peace & may your H.P.give you the strength to get your thru all of this.my prayers are with you.please come back & let us know how you are doing.hugs,hope

I have no words.
I see what has happened to you in my future, if I even know when it happens.

I am so sorry.

I am so sorry for your loss and everything you have to deal with now. I am praying for you and him.

Hugs,
Jewel

I am so sorry....

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some peace at this time and some extra strength. At least you know that he is no longer sick, and maybe he will be at peace also.
I will keep you in my prayers

Sending prayers your way. May Keith rest in peace. Hugs, Marle

My thoughts and prayers are with you and the children during this difficult time. May you find serenity. :hug:

Shalom!

((patchoulli))

First of all, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm not real good at words of comfort. Just know my heart breaks for you and your family.

It also sounds like you may be in a bit of shock. You have a whole lot of emotions that you will need to work your way through. Two greiving processes. One for his addiction and what it's done to you, the other for his death. It's normal for you to have the feelings that you are having.

It's also the most important time in your life, to put your mental and physical welfare at the very front of all your priorities. The hurt and pain runs deeper that you may realize right now.

Just know you are in my prayers

B

Patch, My thoughts and prayers are with you and all who loved Keith.

The person who did those things, the person who hurt you was the addict whose mind was distorted by the disease of addiction, not the sweet person who was lost somewhere inside but who loved you and didn't love the way he had become.

Remember that person, Patch, the good person inside. That's the real Keith, that's the person who suffers no more and rests in the arms of God. May his good memories live in your heart forever.

Hugs :hug:

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Marian. Sending prayers for
peace and strength your way.

I'm very sorry for your loss Patch and prayers for you and your family.

Patchouli, LIke the others, I am sorry for the grief that you are experiencing now. The rage at finding out the other crap only adds to that. Just know that eventually, little by little, this will come to pass. It may seem like forever when it is going on, but a year from now you will see that things will be very different. LIfe is impermanent and ever-changing.
Hugs to you and peace.

((((((patch)))))))

I'm truly sorry for your loss. Prayers from me to you today.

You are in my thoughts and prayers...

If possible take a breather from the chaos that will soon be yours to face and mourn the loss of someone you loved...

the addict is responsible for this pain to you ....
in the same way that any sick person leaves behind things to be settled

(not sure if that attitude helps you but thinking of addicts as sick people who are hurting is the only way I can process all that addiction does to us.....)

You are in my thoughts and prayers. (((Hugs to you)))

Sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers
((((Hugs))))
Cece

I am so sorry for your loss and pain.
jeepgirl

Patch, how very sad, so sorry for you loss, please listen to what is being said here, make yourself and what you are dealing with a top priority and get some professional help with the grieving process, there are stages to it and it you bypass one now, it will come back around later in life and I can just say from experience in this situation, deal with it now and with help, you deserve that. The reason the addicts are so loving and sweet one time and then stealing from us the next is because they are in there somewhere and so is the addict, may Keith rest in peace. peace-blackbird

I'm so sorry for your loss. May Keith's soul rest peacefully.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. We are always here for you.

I am so sorry, my thoughts are with you

I'm so sorry for all you've had to go through because of addiction.

It's a peculiar human thing that we're capable of such a range of emotions......we can be furious at someone, ready to kill them, but still have a lot of sympathy for the situation they find themselves in (like an addict).

It's what we're stuck with, as people. Don't fault yourself.....but do all you can to minimize the damage he's done to you. God rest his soul...but more importantly, may god look after the living.

Hugs,
GL

((((Patch))))

I am so sorry for your loss... all of your losses. And am sending prayers for peace and comfort.

His addiction is finally over, and the chaos can begin to wind down and small bits of healing can replace the pain. Please continue to come in here and let us know how you are doing as you work through this.

(((Patch)))) ((((Keith))))

((patchoulli))
 

I too am very sorry for your loss. I pray that your healing continues and that you will have favor with all of the legal matters that this addiction has left with you!

I'm sorry.

Sending my hugs, love and prayers! I'm sooo sorry for your loss!