Heres a couple questions for you all........
 

Do you know how much they really drink or have you a rough idea ?
Do they drink in bars or at home, or both ?

Since being a member of this site I have read numerous posts and a lot write about their AH drinking beers but there doesnt seem to be an awful lot about those that are drinking spirits.
My reason for posting is that as I have lived with an AH for so long it's almost become 'normal' for him to drink spirits every day.

I wonder is mine one of the minority drinking these large amounts every day or are there many more of you ?

This is a typical week for him just drinking at home of what I know about,and doesnt include when he stops off for a quick one on his way home.

Mon - Thurs Each Day
Between 2 - 6 pints of Lager and between 35cl and 75cl of Vodka or Gin

Fri - Sun Each Day
4 - 8 pints of lager and between 75cl and 1ltr of Vodka or Gin

My guess is that his liver is trying to escape because he has a lump the size of a melon sticking out of his stomach and he coughs up blood after a heavy night.
But guess what Ladies and Gents ? He hasnt got a problem and doesnt need to see a doctor !!!!

Look forward to comparing ......
Sharon

I honestly don't know. I sort of don't even care anymore. He hides it, but he's a vodka man too. The other night when I went to bed--he always crashes early on a dry day or a drunk day--and the room smelled like a distillery. Gross.

mine became a closet drinker - he'd hide it - vodka was his choice too. i never realy knew how much he was drinking, but i'm sure it was alot at the end.

hey there! I would take a close look at #5 and #6

Symptoms and signs of liver disease


1. ABNORMALLY YELLOW DISCOLORATION OF THE SKIN AND EYES. This is called jaundice which is often the first and sometimes the only sign of liver disease.

2. DARK URINE.

3. GRAY, YELLOW, OR LIGHT-COLORED STOOLS.

4. NAUSEA, VOMITING AND/OR LOSS OF APPETITE.

5. VOMITING OF BLOOD, BLOODY OR BLACK STOOLS. Intestinal bleeding can occur when liver diseases obstruct blood flow through the liver. The bleeding may result in vomiting of blood or bloody stools.

6. ABDOMINAL SWELLING. Liver disease may cause ascites, an accumulation of fluid in the abdominal cavity.

7. PROLONGED GENERALIZED ITCHING.

8. UNUSUAL CHANGE OF WEIGHT. An increase or decrease of more than 5% within two months.

9. ABDOMINAL PAIN.

10. SLEEP DISTURBANCES, MENTAL CONFUSION AND COMA are present in severe liver disease. These result from an accumulation of toxic substances in the body which impair brain function.

11. FATIGUE OR LOSS OF STAMINA.

12. LOSS OF SEXUAL DRIVE OR PERFORMANCE.


If any of these signs or symptoms appear, consult your physician immediately.

Prevention:
Don't drink any alcohol!

Mine drank Vodka, Rumplemintz (not sure how that is spelled)
and beer....He drank in bars alot.
He always had a beer in front of him along with the
rock glass niether of which sat emptly very long....
When he as at home he kept a bottle of vodka in the freezer
and sipped on it while drinking a beer, didn't want my boys to
see him drinking all that vodka, I guess he thought the beer
would appear more acceptable to them...funny isn't it?

Mine would drink an 18 pack of beer a day. When he wanted the world to think he wasn't a drinker anymore he switched to vodka. At the end he'd go through two 350ml bottles a day. My AH has pancreatitis from the drink. Chronic diarreah (sp?), unable to digest fats, extreme weight loss. And he only drank at home or in his car during breaks/lunch at work. He never went out to bars.

No kidding?!! Neither does mine!!!!!:a102:

Last time I saw him drinking at home, he would have at least 10-12 0z (?) beers from the minute he walked in the door, until about 10:45 when he would shuffle upstairs; every night......for years. Was buying 2-24 pks at a time but tried to leave 2 in refrig. for next night.

I know he now fancies himself a wine expert, but also still drinks beer,too. (Is he smoking,snorting anything else? who knows....he has surprised me in the past the he was and I had NO idea, except that he was "off".) Honestly, I have no idea but despite what my head knows, I am "secretly worried" he is now drinking less since we have been separated,etc. Actually, that is not only sick on my part; it defies logic (so does he.....he is getting really odd acting sometimes........and seems like he is barely keeping it all together. He is lying a lot now,too.

Hi Sharon,
My husband doesn't drink in or around the home that is one of my boundries. I can only tell if he is drinking by the smell. Even when I don't care
the nose knows. My H use to drink 6-8 beers a day now he drinks 1-2 and often will skip a day. Miracles will never cease, please step over the sarcasm.
I try not to focus on it anymore as long as I get what I need and my kids are happy the focus is now on me!!! Sharon things will get better, Take care of you!!!

MIne drinks 6 pints (min) to 8 or 9 pints (max) during the day; a bottle of red wine with dinner (maybe more than a bottle some nights) and then a double whisky as a "nightcap". I make that at least 20 untis a day (whats the reccomended max for men.. 21 units a week!)

He never appears drunk at all.. and no physical symptoms. Apart from getting thinner (he only weights about 10-10.5 stones (140-147 lbs for you non brits) whilst being over 6 ft tall) He eats very little - maybe some supper, but no breakfast or lunch. He does absolutely no exercise- even takes the car to the pub which is a 5 minute walk away.
He holds down a highly paid job- admittedly as a self=employed person working from home (regulates his drinking to fixed times of the day)

>> All this of course shopuld say he did (In the past tense)- he's just moved out. Not sure how the new OW will take this amount of drinking when she realises!

D drank at the worst times about 8-10 pints of beer a day. I never knew him drinking spirits although while he lived with his mother she said he had a phase of drinking whiskey as well as beer - no idea how much though.

Having said that, while we were together and D was drinking 8-10 pints he had admitted there was a problem and had started to get help - it was quite a short phase. Prior to that I couldn't tell you accurately because I can't remember well enough, he might avoid drink one or two nights a week but drink 4-8pints on every other night. He was always aware there was some level of problem so was usally doing things to try and contain it (like not starting to drink till the booze shops shut).

Drinks beer, Corona, usually eveyday between 2-10 bottles, but not lately 'coz I've been so mad! If he drinks liqour it's Jameson (ewww) and does shot of this, said last night he drank wihne which I know is b.s., he drank beer. he drinks at work, in the resturant buwsiness so there's always a bar he can get free booze, drinks beer at home. Becoming a closet drinker as i am putting my foot down. Unstablelady, i was rasied in the UK and because I am an obsessive fan of Coronation Street and Eastenders, he thinks I should think it's normal to drink all the time he says "that's the way it is where you're from, they go to the bar on their lunchbreaks" WHAT???!!! LOL yes, real life is just like Coronation Street. I think it is more accepted in the UK (was when I was there anyway) have the laws become stricter? I was never carded there, even as a teen, but I left in '96.
Lies without fail every single time he drinks, no matter what.

My x was a vodka drinker as well. When we first met I thought it was only beer and alot at that. Then I noticed sometimes he'd just get very out of it, very different kind of drunk and I had no idea what was wrong with him. Then I found out he had been drinking vodka. Hiding the pints. It came to the point that no matter if he had one or two beers, he would always hit the vodka.

He was a lone drinker. No bars for the most part, would just go out, get a pint (?) and just sit outside on a bench, in the woods, a room and get totally obliviated.

He's in rehab now. But to this day, when I see a bottle of Smirnoff anywhere - I get so mad! LOL

I don't think it matters how much or what they drink, if their lives are unmanageable due to drinking, it's too much.

Remember, 1000 drinks is not enough and 1 is too many!

No Judy, it really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things but I think some info is good for people to share. Like my AH. For years, just drinking beer, he was a pretty functional A. When he switched to vodka he went to a skidrow drunk in a matter of months. That sort of info might be helpful to someone else. JMO Thanks

TomsGirl,

I didn't mean it that way. The bottom line is it doesn't matter how much or what they drink. If one can't live with it, what does it matter.

Nothing I've ever read says "an 18 pack a day and a bottle of vodka" classifies one as an alcoholic. There are no guidelines. I know several folks who drank 3 cocktails a night over the course of 30 years and are alcoholics. How? Because they could not go one single night without their 3 cocktails and "THEY FELT" their lives were unmanageable because of it.

It doesn't matter how much or how little one drinks ..... it's how it effects their lives that determines if drinking is a problem.

Many folks here (edited due to my foot-n-mouth problem :09: )seem to have a preconceived notion that an alcoholic has to be a messy falling down disgusting skidrow drunk to be considered an alcoholc. That simply is not true.

My husbands sponsor drank a 1/2 pint of vodka a day. He carried it around in a flask while going to work in the City as a financial advisor. One day he realized he "could not stop" and he went to AA and has 10 years sobriety. Again, how much and what someone drinks does not determine if they are an alcoholic or not.

Me, I am not an alcoholic, but I can go to a bar on any given day, have a couple of beers, maybe 3 shots and 2 drinks and go home. I've also known raging violent alcoholics who only drink beer! My husband was one of those for many years, then right before rehab he added Blackberry Brandy to the mix (he didn't care you could smell it a mile away!) The next day I wouldn't have to do the same thing and it would probably be 6 months or more before I did the same thing. I am not an alcoholic.

I don't like people, especially people who are new to this, to think that if someone drinks a ridiculous amount of liquor/spirits this makes them an alcoholic because it doesn't and as enablers in recovery, it shouldn't matter to us anyway.

Are you sure? Judy - are you by any chance having a foot-in-mouth disease episode?? As we're fellow sufferers I feel nudgeworthy!

You're right that alchol dependency and abuse is based on life effects but I think this post was more about itchy curiosity, which I reckon we all have sometimes. It may be the case that we 'shouldn't' be dying to ask but hell if I'd had the guts when I first joined I'm sure I'd have asked - I didn't have a clue re amounts others drank!!

Honest gov' I think it's just itchy question - not alternative diagnosis methods - we have a duck for that!

OK, equus, I edited my post for I was making an irrational generalization, thank you for pointing that out to me. My apologies!

Yes, I agree it's just an itchy question, but those type of questions are what get us enablers back on the "hamster wheel". If we (generalizing here) enablers start watching and wondering "what are they drinking, how much, when, where" etc, then that takes our time and our thoughts away from us and once again puts the attention back on the alcoholic.

Does that make my feeling/opinion clearer?

Sometimes the attention should be on the alcoholic in regards to "you" and your future. Because I never shared any financials with my AH his current predicament does not affect me in the wallet in the least. For other's on this board, if their A went down as quickly as mine did they would have been blindsided, at least financially. Therefore, I believe you have to pay some attention to the A and the progression of their disease for your own sake, not theirs. Ignorance is not always bliss. Again, JMO.

I humbly disagree.

Everyone should be savvy enough to be financially independent of their SO, in this day and age. Paying attention to what your spouse is doing is something that should be done whether they are an alcoholic or not. I call that communicating, no easy feat while living with an alcoholic who refuses to communicate.

Folks shouldn't use the excuse "paying attention to the alcoholic" as a way around not dealing with ones own enabling issues. Folks should be paying attention to themselves and their well being, not the alcoholics.

It's certainly not like it was when my mom & dad were raising a family.

I find all of your posts very intriguing to the fact that most mentioned A's here are hiding and/or not drinking at home. My AH drinks at home beer only (no hiding) & only to a point that he gets a good buzz going & he keeps to himself. However, whenever he gets out w/his buddies, he seems to loose control & drinks liquor - that stuff gets him to do crazy things (DUI, sleeping in the car over night in shopping parking lot, etc.). What kind of A is my AH compared to yours I wonder?

JD

Never mind my above statement; I started reading this threat, left for lunch & came back. In the meantime Judy pointed out rightfully that it actually doesn't matter how much or what they are drinking. Problem is when it starts affecting life; how come I so quickly fell back into the loop & forgot what MY problem was all about? For a day or two ever since I found this website I thought I had it "down", but I should have known better that this is an ongoing recovery for us enablers... Gosh I think, I am understanding the scope of my recovery a bit better each day...

JD

PPS. Thanks Judy for sharing & reminding us of what truly counts....