If I use only two tactics on Gabe's list (the silent treatment and you ruined my life syndrome), does that mean I'm a partial emotional manipulator? Only partially sick? Only partially in need of recovery? Only partially in denial? That I was only partially responsible for the break up of my relationship?

Come on, that's only two out of six....

Girlfriend.. I don't know if it's manipulation or sincere insecurity. .. or a combination of them.

I caught this "manipulative" disease from prolonged exposure (4 years now) to an alcoholic. I am in hopes I have caught it in the early stages. I noticed a symptom of it the first time I did something intentionally to get a reaction from him by copying what he had done to me. Later, I thought wow.... why did I do that?.... didn't people grow out of that by their 20's or at least when their first child was born or something?

(I had been in a 5 year relationship previous to my marriage to my AH and I cannot remember either one of us resorting to manipulation)

I remember thinking then.... oh no ...I do NOT want to be one of those people that manipulate and play games.... NO.... NO...NO. But.... as long as I am exposed to the AH I have to innoculate myself from the dreaded disease of manipulation on my part nearly everyday. Manipulation.......It is not me... it is not what I want... it is not who am... it is a hideous disease my AH apparently thinks I deserve. I will have to end my marriage soon if my AH does not take positive action.

OMGdess

:) Thank you, Gooch! Yep, he is insecure and it was draining to always have to tell him how smart he actually was and what a good person he is and how everyone likes him and ,......blah, blah, blah.

I had a guy friend like that in high school. He only hung around us girls and would always say stuff like "I know you guys don't wanna hang around with me." "I know I'm a pest". "I know I'm really buggin' you". :rolleyes:

MAN! That got old. I don't know if he was fishing for compliments or wanting attention all the time or what, but it bugged the shyte outta me.

i used to think that was humility until I learned it was really just the manifestation of an ego maniac with an inferiority complex.

I still have to bite my lip sometimes when I start getting interested in someone for more than friendship. seems as though there is some miswiring in my brain that says "women will like you if you build them up by cutting yourself down.." ? wow what a screwed up perception ...