Not different at all
 

I thought things were going to be different this time. Two weeks sober and treating me better than ever. It's my birthday all over again :cries3:

He drank today. He took $60 out of the bank yesterday because he said that I never do anything for myself and he wanted to buy me a present. Well, he drank the money away. Nice gift. I thought since his daughter was visiting who he hadn't seen in over a year, he would stay sober. I guess not.

On my birthday, three months ago, he told me that he was sorry that he didn't have enough money to buy me a present. I told him that the only present I wanted was a day without alcohol. He promised me we would have a great day. Well, I came home from work to find that he had stolen the Debit card from my personal account and overdrew me by $40 buying alcohol. I found Three empty pints of vodka, one half full, and two full ones under the couch. I know it wasn't right, but I proceeded to dump them all over his body as I sang Happy Birthday to myself. Then I reported the card stolen and got a new one that he doesn't know the number to.

Now, he's lying and taking money again. The $60 was part of the kids' school clothes money that we put aside. Good thing I'm a good shopper.

I know..DETACH...right? I wish I knew how.

Open a new account in a new bank that he does not know about and keep the card with you at all times.

And expect nothing.

A million hugs to you.

Jenny

Great advice you got from Jennyk.

2 weeks of sobriety is nothing, certainly not enough to raise expectations. He is al alcoholic,, and deception and dishonesty is the norm.

Expectations are pre-meditated resentments. When I expect it to be different, in sucha short period of time, I am setting myself up for disappointment.

Do you attend al-anon? If not, try it. World of support and understanding of this disease can be found there,,,oh, and a lot of peace of mind. Keep coming back!

Jennyk has great advice and I hope I can take it. I have to watch the bank account all the time, but there is one account that is in my name and I am putting money in it all the time. It is like a cushion and he cannot get it. He came within $5 of overdrafting the other account this week.

After one year, two years of sobriety then expectations can be raised, after two weeks no way.

JennyK is right open a bank account in another bank for you and possibly arrange that they NOT send you any monthly statements in case he sees it and opens it.

Ngaire

Another account is a really good idea. I have one that I slip money into off each paycheck. Between drinking and gambling every once in a while abf would spend every cent we had if he could. He's caught me before and he gets angry but I don't care, I pay the bills and there's been times they wouldn't have been paid if not for what I saved. I swear he thinks the bills pay themselves.

I actually do have a separate account. It is our "bread and butter" account. It is the account my paychecks go into, and I have made sure that we don't accumulate so many bills that I can't afford everything on my own. I made the mistake early on of giving him my PIN number for my debit card, but I got a new card and he no longer has it. We still have a joint savings, but only money from his checks goes in there, and only what I don't need in order to pay bills. There have been one or two times, when he has gone on a binge, that I have emptied the savings and held the money until he was done. His binges always last three or four days, and I can tell before he even starts drinking if today is going to be a day that he'll drink. There is just a difference about him. I just wish my knowledge of that could help him to not do it.