Not different at all
Not different at all
I thought things were going to be different this time. Two weeks sober and treating me better than ever. It's my birthday all over again
He drank today. He took $60 out of the bank yesterday because he said that I never do anything for myself and he wanted to buy me a present. Well, he drank the money away. Nice gift. I thought since his daughter was visiting who he hadn't seen in over a year, he would stay sober. I guess not.
On my birthday, three months ago, he told me that he was sorry that he didn't have enough money to buy me a present. I told him that the only present I wanted was a day without alcohol. He promised me we would have a great day. Well, I came home from work to find that he had stolen the Debit card from my personal account and overdrew me by $40 buying alcohol. I found Three empty pints of vodka, one half full, and two full ones under the couch. I know it wasn't right, but I proceeded to dump them all over his body as I sang Happy Birthday to myself. Then I reported the card stolen and got a new one that he doesn't know the number to.
Now, he's lying and taking money again. The $60 was part of the kids' school clothes money that we put aside. Good thing I'm a good shopper.
I know..DETACH...right? I wish I knew how.
He drank today. He took $60 out of the bank yesterday because he said that I never do anything for myself and he wanted to buy me a present. Well, he drank the money away. Nice gift. I thought since his daughter was visiting who he hadn't seen in over a year, he would stay sober. I guess not.
On my birthday, three months ago, he told me that he was sorry that he didn't have enough money to buy me a present. I told him that the only present I wanted was a day without alcohol. He promised me we would have a great day. Well, I came home from work to find that he had stolen the Debit card from my personal account and overdrew me by $40 buying alcohol. I found Three empty pints of vodka, one half full, and two full ones under the couch. I know it wasn't right, but I proceeded to dump them all over his body as I sang Happy Birthday to myself. Then I reported the card stolen and got a new one that he doesn't know the number to.
Now, he's lying and taking money again. The $60 was part of the kids' school clothes money that we put aside. Good thing I'm a good shopper.
I know..DETACH...right? I wish I knew how.
Great advice you got from Jennyk.
2 weeks of sobriety is nothing, certainly not enough to raise expectations. He is al alcoholic,, and deception and dishonesty is the norm.
Expectations are pre-meditated resentments. When I expect it to be different, in sucha short period of time, I am setting myself up for disappointment.
Do you attend al-anon? If not, try it. World of support and understanding of this disease can be found there,,,oh, and a lot of peace of mind. Keep coming back!
2 weeks of sobriety is nothing, certainly not enough to raise expectations. He is al alcoholic,, and deception and dishonesty is the norm.
Expectations are pre-meditated resentments. When I expect it to be different, in sucha short period of time, I am setting myself up for disappointment.
Do you attend al-anon? If not, try it. World of support and understanding of this disease can be found there,,,oh, and a lot of peace of mind. Keep coming back!
Jennyk has great advice and I hope I can take it. I have to watch the bank account all the time, but there is one account that is in my name and I am putting money in it all the time. It is like a cushion and he cannot get it. He came within $5 of overdrafting the other account this week.
After one year, two years of sobriety then expectations can be raised, after two weeks no way.
JennyK is right open a bank account in another bank for you and possibly arrange that they NOT send you any monthly statements in case he sees it and opens it.
Ngaire
JennyK is right open a bank account in another bank for you and possibly arrange that they NOT send you any monthly statements in case he sees it and opens it.
Ngaire
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: In my own world...
Posts: 444
Another account is a really good idea. I have one that I slip money into off each paycheck. Between drinking and gambling every once in a while abf would spend every cent we had if he could. He's caught me before and he gets angry but I don't care, I pay the bills and there's been times they wouldn't have been paid if not for what I saved. I swear he thinks the bills pay themselves.
I actually do have a separate account. It is our "bread and butter" account. It is the account my paychecks go into, and I have made sure that we don't accumulate so many bills that I can't afford everything on my own. I made the mistake early on of giving him my PIN number for my debit card, but I got a new card and he no longer has it. We still have a joint savings, but only money from his checks goes in there, and only what I don't need in order to pay bills. There have been one or two times, when he has gone on a binge, that I have emptied the savings and held the money until he was done. His binges always last three or four days, and I can tell before he even starts drinking if today is going to be a day that he'll drink. There is just a difference about him. I just wish my knowledge of that could help him to not do it.
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