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-   -   An update...the craziness continues...... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/427967-update-craziness-continues.html)

Clover71 05-23-2018 03:59 PM


Originally Posted by hopeful4 (Post 6905140)
It sounds like I need to do some checking into my settings. I cannot block all together (legal agreement due to minor child). However, it sounds like I can change my settings and make a pact w/myself to only check at a certain time.

Part of the anxiety is that is always comes at inopportune times, like 10 at night. I do read my texts, I have teen children so you have to.

Thanks!

I was going to suggest this too. I have an iPhone, and I can put a particular contact on "do not disturb" meaning I don't get text notifications until I take that person off do not disturb. This way you only have to read it when you are "ready" to do so.

trailmix 05-24-2018 09:30 AM

Yes I think all phones have this option, including my samsung. Hearing that text tone or seeing your phone flashing at 10 at night and wondering if it's just one of the kids going to be a bit late or some rant must be stressful.

Once you get rid of notifications for his texts and even calls, it really does help.

For a while, at one time, I turned off notifications because that sound was triggering for an adrenaline spike! Of course I had the option of doing that because I don't have teen children out and about but the alternative of just muting one person is great.

hopeful4 05-24-2018 09:52 AM

Unfortunately I have an iphone so it appears some of my options are more limited. I have decided to block him at certain times and only unblock during say a 30 min time span then block again. This way I am in control of when I see what. Ugh.

Gm0824 05-24-2018 01:25 PM

I just got caught up on your thread, hopeful. You are doing great. Via court order xah was only supposed to use a third party website to send emails regarding the children (he has never signed up for it) but early on would call (I would never answer ... also went so far as to remove my custom voice mail recording because I didn't even want him hearing my voice) and text. I wouldn't respond to the texts either because they were just his rants about how I also wasn't doing a good enough job "teaching" the children to love him. He hasn't texted in a long time but I always wanted to respond with, "Who is this?" ... just to ruffle some duck feathers but figured my sanctification of ticking him off wasn't worth breaking no contact!

Sasha1972 05-24-2018 05:16 PM


Originally Posted by hopeful4 (Post 6905963)
Unfortunately I have an iphone so it appears some of my options are more limited. I have decided to block him at certain times and only unblock during say a 30 min time span then block again. This way I am in control of when I see what. Ugh.


When I really, really don't want to deal with ex and there's no reason why I need to be constantly available, on my iPhone, I go:

Settings -> Notifications -> Messages -> Allow Notifications: Off

On my MacBook:

System Preferences -> Notifications -> Messages -> Message Alert Style: None

Then I turn notifications back on for short periods and I don't get blindsided by ranting texts.

hopeful4 05-29-2018 07:35 AM

Thank you Sasha! I wish I could turn off notifications just for him. Ugh.

GM0824....Ha!!! I think I will start doing that. "I'm sorry, who is this?"
"You must have the wrong number, no one I know would speak to me this way."
"I'm sorry, I don't accept SPAM calls."

Tee hee!!!

Maudcat 05-29-2018 08:32 AM

Or..”Obviously you have confused me with someone who cares.”

hopeful4 05-29-2018 12:57 PM

Yes, love this one! Keep them coming friends, I am going to be locked and loaded with snappy comebacks LOL!



Originally Posted by Maudcat (Post 6910590)
Or..”Obviously you have confused me with someone who cares.”


Sasha1972 05-29-2018 01:56 PM

Or ...

"Can't hear you ... sorry, what did you say? ... could you speak up just a little - what was that? ... still can't hear ... didn't catch that, could you repeat it? ... a little louder, please ..." until he gives up and hangs up.

(I got this from a friend who used it when people made racist remarks around her - could you repeat that, I didn't quite hear you, it sounds like you said [insert racist remark] but I must have misheard you, I can't tell what you're saying because you're mumbling, a little louder, please?). Works like a charm.


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