Hey - sometimes I even have to sing it out loud to remind myself - "one foot.... other foot.... one foot..... other foot..... where was I?.... oh yeah...."

:grouphug: This phase won't last forever - it has to come to an end eventually. It's crazy how we can finally get to a difficult decision & then life's ironies step in to test us - well, irony if you choose to see it that way.

I always interpret this stuff as tests from my HP - just when I've decided to go one way, that path gets filled with new obstacles to test my commitment to my decision. It can be easy to throw up your hands & say, EFF IT - FORGET IT then.... a lot more difficult to stay on the path & a lot easier to make excuses for why it didn't work out.

Hang in there COD. :grouphug:

Oh yes. Still don't want to, and wish there was an alternative, but I don't see any other alternatives at this point. Sadly

COD....another thought.....are you having "minor surgery" or "Outpatient Surgery?
the reason that I ask is that some people use the terms interchangeably....
Outpatient surgery is not necessarily minor.....
For example....some people have their gallbladder removed in outopatient surgery and go home the same day...but, it is not really minor surgery.
I am curious...because you seem to be anticipating a long recuperative period...which most minor surgery does not require....

It 'should be' Outpatient, but I will probably be out of the office 10-14 days. Not exactly minor, or maybe it is.

Well, today I'm back to the S.I.T.S..... Just had a nice breakfast, and a vendor is bringing in donuts in a while, so not close to hungry. But back to sad, especially after last night's verbal thrashing I received.

Was it Quacking? Would it be something to add to our quackers thread?
I don't mean to minimize your feelings....because it is human to be affected by verbal abuse. It wears down a person's self esteem.....
If you are going to live with it for the next six to eight weeks....is there any way you can think of to use better detachment skills or limit you time in the shared space? (same room).....
do you have any earphones...?

Most times I've gotten better at not being sucked in to the insanity and the BS, but at other times it sneaks up on me and next thing I know I'm in the thick of it. Luckily I realized that I needed to get out, so I grabbed the dog.

Even if I'm being attacked like that, I'm too nice to walk away from someone when they are talking. DS does that and it drives me nuts. Now, I just have to remind myself that me telling DS something and him walking away, is a helluva lot different than having vomit spewed at you and walking away.

Uuugghh

I know it isn't easy.

I am all of it. Introvert, extrovert, angry, tired, irritable, lonely, sad.... (Except hungry, I have no trouble eating) I'm tired, all the time. I'm lonely because I don't feel understood. I'm an introvert and an extrovert. I can turn it on, feel comfortable in group situations, and talk to hundreds of people, but I need to decompress with alone time and often forget that I need this because I'm so busy trying to help everyone else. I'm lonely in my joking and sociableness, I don't really trust anyone. I'm working on it.

I'm excited today because I think something clicked. I'm ready to start understanding that it starts with me, instead of just saying "I should... Or I'm trying to..."

Yesssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!

:c011: :scoregood :c011: