He died last weekend
 

He completed rehab about 2 years ago. He got a job and an apartment. He became a great dad. He came over 2-3x per week. He picked our daughter up from school. He did homework with her. He made dinner for us. We maintained a friendly relationship. He was to come over to hang out w our daughter Sunday and never showed up. We couldn’t reach him. I had no idea he was using. None of us knew. My 8yo doesn’t have her dad anymore. We are burying him today. I’m so angry and heartbroken for him and our daughter. For his mom. For me.
I hope he’s at peace.
I posted here bc he had been struggling w alcoholism when I was here last. This is the forum that helped me the most. I hope that’s ok.

I'm so sorry for your and your childrens loss BodkinVanHorn

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So sorry for your loss. :(

Very sorry for your loss, Bodkin.

I am so sorry for your loss, and for the loss felt by everyone who loved him. How sad that addiction takes good people away from us so tragically.

Even if he was using, I am glad he hid it well enough to have some quality time with his daughter the past couple of years. May she hang on to the good memories and some day understand that he was sick and just couln't get well.

My prayers go out for all of you. And for him. :candle:

So sorry.

I’m really sorry to hear about your loss.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
Keep posting here because we all care about you and your daughter. You are in my prayers.

There are a couple grief groups I can point you toward if you want to pm me. They don't judge because of the manner of death or whether you were married to your child's dad at the time.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry for your loss :grouphug:

I am so so sorry for you and your daughter. You will both be in my prayers.

BVH, I am so sorry for your loss. Of course it's okay for you to post here, post as much as you need.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Heartbreaking. I am so very sorry.

Big *hugs* for you and your girl.

I’m very saddened to hear your news - you and your family will be remembered in thought and prayer

I'm so sorry, Bodkin. Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts and wishing you peace.

So sorry for your and his family.

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

Condolences on your loss, it's very sad.

Sending you and your family peace and comfort. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I am just so sorry to hear of your loss. What a brutal thing, addiction. You and your family will be in my prayers.

how deeply tragic for all concerned. my condolences to you and all who loved and cared for him. special hugs to your 8 yr old. :grouphug:

I'm so incredibly sorry. I'm sending you strenght and prayers. I lost my husband due to the same reason a year and a half ago. It's so horrible. I hope you have people around you to support you, talk to, do the groceries and everything else that feels too overwhelming in a situation like this. You and your daughter will be in my prayers. PM me if you need someone to talk to.

Sending you hugs

I am so very, very sorry for your loss, your daughter's loss, your family's loss. My heart is so full and I will keep you in my prayers. I wish you strength and peace. I hope that with time, all the damage that addiction inflicted will fade and you will be able to hold on to some of the happier memories without too much pain.

I'm so sorry Bodkin--I remember you from before and how
much you tried to help him and protect your child.

Wishing you all healing :grouphug:

So incredibly sorry for your loss Bodkin. I feel for you and your child - and for him. So sorry - will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks
 

Thank you all. I’m so grateful right now for his family, for my family, and for our friends. You know, the friends who show up and take your kid to the park so she doesn’t have to go to the funeral. The friends who bring you cookies. The friends who help you when your brain just stops and who help you sort through the stuff left behind. The friends who give you a ride home. Who ask if you need groceries or time to yourself. I’m very grateful for those folks. I’m blessed to have these people in my life.

B,
I am so sad for your loss. We all get it on this forum that our addicts are all only one drink, one pill or one needle away from dying. I'm so sorry for this unmeasurable loss to you an your daughter. Sending hugs, stay close my friend.

I'm so sorry for your loss Bodkin.