The last two Thanksgivings have not been what I expected, but I don't know what I expected, really. Last year, Thanksgiving came less than one month after my husband passed. I don't remember much about it. This year I don't know at all what is happening with my alcoholic stepson except that he was in the hospital again about one month ago. My stepson-in-law (SSIL?) sprained his ankle badly first thing in the morning and had to be taken to the ER. So, the day was not exactly as we had anticipated, but I think my stepdaughter was having an emotional week over the loss of her Dad (me, too) anyway and did not want to be around a lot of people.

Good news for me, I did get to take care of the two older grands for a bit after lunch...it was kind of a kitty, puppy, lamby, Avengers Age of Ultron sort of afternoon :lmao

I think maybe it is time for me to start some traditions of my own. My late husband and I just sort of allowed his daughter to decide how the holidays would look. I think I need to make some of my own plans and decisions about how I want to spend some of my holiday time in a way that will be more meaningful for me in addition to the time I spend with them.

After my booze burns- going dead- revived 4 times last year episode my family cut me off. So this year for me it is very seriously basic stuff
Obviously no alcohol
Avoid ANY situation that causes me discomfort
Safety
HALTS(ad)
Plan proper food to eat that does not remind me in a self pitying way of family.
AND junk food
Lots of coffee and ice cold real coke.
Lots of movies.
I am still working on the how I might find a little peace and joy in the whole thing- survival guide comes first.