Nyinabo, I don't think kids should have to learn ways to manage or cope with an alcoholic parents. That isn't really fair, because they are kids that deserve to be doing kid things.

Just my two cents. Agree with everyone here that I don't think kids could grow up unaffected in some way if living with an active alcoholic. And even if they weren't affected, they don't deserve to deal with it anyway.

I can see where you are coming from about seeing the positives in your marriage and the relationship too, he may get worse though. Is he receptive to seeking help?

No, a formal program is not needed but there needs to be real dedication to doing things differently. Learning how to cope with emotions without turning to alcohol to deal. For me I never followed a formal program but absolutely needed to connect with others who knew what I was going through and were willing to help me navigate through life in a healthy manner.

You are saying he quit and that's it? I know people like that. Their family lives have improved to a degree but only superficially. As examples they are steadily employed, bills are getting paid etc. But intimacy, emotional dependability is still lacking. At least the relationships I know are like this.