Sitting in A&E with AM
 

Im sitting in A&E at the moment with my AM and dad! My emotions are running high and low and I'm extremely anger!

My mothers alcoholism took a turn for the worst at the beginning of the year, she was "diagnosed" with alcoholism and used it as an excuse to drink more! I decided to seek help for myself as I was struggling to deal with it all and started to detach. I've been doing very well and each day was getting better and easier.

I received a call this morning from my brother to say my mums on her way to A&E as she's bleeding from her rear. I'm here now waiting. I'm so angry I want to shake her and scream at her " your killing yourself!" But I know it will do no good do I'm sitting in silence! 😩

I know how hard it is. My mum has cirrhosis and I fear for her life every day. Stay strong and keeping getting the support you need. There's nothing that can really make this situation easier, it's not an easy for sure. but I know you can make it through.

Keep us updated!

Welcome to SR, feebell; I am sorry for what brings you here.

Both of my parents were alcoholics, too, and I am in recovery. We can't eliminate the family link but we can eliminate the manifestations of alcoholism in ourselves.

Stay strong.

I hear you. I got a call last week that my AM broke her heel and was in the hospital after being out for drinks with my dad. FYI, I have told my mother more than once that she is killing herself, her relationships, her dignity, her beauty with alcohol and I am treated like nothing more than a drama queen. She can't put any weight on her foot for at least a month and she is treating it like it is "no big deal." I understand your frustration. I try not to future trip and make sure I self nurture on a daily basis.

Hi there, and welcome. I'm glad you found us here--sorry for the reason.

Sometimes (certainly not always) a health scare will get through to an alcoholic. One of the reasons I quit drinking was that I was beginning to see some scary physical symptoms and had visions of myself in a wheelchair, being housebound and having booze delivered to my home. It scared the hell out of me and I decided enough was enough.

Of course, as I said, it doesn't always work that way. Some people just keep on and on. I'm glad you're getting some help for yourself.

Hugs,

Please let us know how your Mom makes out, feebell; thinking of you both.

Well this is certainly scary to reach the point of bleeding out. I sure hope it's her wake up call once and for all. It sounds like you realize she must want help in order to make changes for the better, not you. I hope this gets her there. Please keep us posted and let us know how YOU are doing.

Many thanks for all responses. Just jn from a very long and tiring day! Mum has been kept in as they are not sure where the bleeding is coming from, more tests being run with a camera being run internal tomorrow.

I really hope this is a wake up call for her as I'm not sure how much more myself and family can take! Glad she is being kept in as its given my poor dad a break and probably a full nights sleep, the first he's had in weeks!

I'm ok, had a slight break down this morning but I think it was more out of anger and frustration of what she's done to herself, not fair we all have to suffer and she gets away Scott free with her actions, as that's how it's felt today!

Keep us posted! Glad everyone (including your mum) is getting some rest.

One thing--is the hospital aware of her drinking? My second husband went into the hospital with pneumonia, and wound up with an "unplanned detox" that resulted in life-threatening withdrawal, which almost killed him. If they don't know, you should tell them so they can monitor her for withdrawal. It isn't always that severe, but it COULD be.

Hi LexieCat yes the hospital are fully aware that she is an alcoholic, it's was one of the first things we told them. At the moment she is being detoxed under the supervision of hospital staff.

I've had a bit of a breakdown this morning and in the frame of mind that i don't want to see her today! I'm just so exhausted. :0(

You don't need to see her today. Take care of you. You can call and check up tonight, but if you need a break from it today, that is absolutely fine.

Tight hugs!

Thanks for the update, feebell.

Take care of yourself, too.

Update on AM

She is due for an abdominal scan today to see what's going on but the suspect she has a bowel infection! They are hoping to get her home tomorrow or Thursday and being honest I'm dreading it!

She has an appointment on Thursday also with a detox nurse from the HUB Recovery centre she attends which we all really want her to go to as she missed the last one. She has now gone a near 72 hours without any alcohol and the hospital said that her DT's weren't all that bad but we're keeping a close eye on her! Not sure how we keep controlling the DT's when she home or should she now be over the worst of it?? My dad has cleared the whole house and made it clear no alcohol will be provided by any of us anymore (he was buying it for her trying to control her intake"enabling") he has now realised that he's doing worse than good and if she decides she wants a drink she will get off her butt and get it herself, that's on her head, her choice!

I think it's good news they have set her up with an appointment with a detox nurse. My stepson was in the hospital for 10 days once and for about 5 days another time. Hopefully, they won't release your mom until Thursday and she can go straight to the nurse's appointment?

I hope, at least, your dad has been able to get some rest.

Yes I'm pleased she has a detox appointment I'm just not to sure what it entails! Fingers crossed she is "worked" on right away!

She's blaming my dad at the moment for given her this suspected bowl infection, the baked potato and cheese "was off" because it could never be the alcohols fault, can it?? She's driven me mad! I'm not going to see her today as I honestly can't bear it, I need to take sometime out!

Oh my. Yes, I would definitely take a day off of it. Your poor dad....

Here is the thing. Don't be surprised at all if she finds other ways to find alcohol. Unless she truly wants recovery and is willing to work for it for the rest of her life, it won't happen. I am glad she is seeing a detox nurse. Would she consider inpatient treatment? It sounds like she is most likely past detox really.....

Tight hugs to you.

To be honest I have no faith in her wanting to get better she is so weak minded at the moment and speaking to her is like talking to a 4 year old, she's making no sense and coming out with all sorts and thats her without a drink, although could this be a side effect of detoxing??

Just spoke with dad who's been into see her today and she's still in a lot of pain and bleeding, so not looking like she will get out soon. They are still trying to figure out what's wrong. Dads having a night off from visiting which I'm glad off as he sounds exhausted. Feeling for him as he asked if it was ok for him not to visit, I told him of course that was ok and that he needed sometime to himself :0)

Feebell, my father has sworn alcohol wouldn't be in my parents house anymore, too, but that never seems to last. I hope your father is stronger.

I hope so too DoubleDragons I really do!

My guilt and worry is mostly on my father now as I'm slowly coming to terms with mums drinking and accepting I can't rescue her. I just wish I didn't feel bad about him having to look after her and taking on the responsibly of her even though I've told him many times to let her get on with it, but he's just not listening :(

Hopefully the doctors will figure out where the bleeding is coming from and be able to tell you whether or not her cognizance will improve. If her functioning won't improve, is a long-term care facility possible? That way, she would receive the care she needs, and it wouldn't be your Dad's burden...