Dear Carlotta,

Of course I meant in relation to Pippi's AH posting happy kid pics when there is no relationship behind the smiles. People who post pics online or boast about how wonderful things are when there is NO substance to them have serious ego issues. Keeping up appearances and all that. My father and my exA both do that. They present people and relationships as better/happier/healthier than they actually are, so they appear WONDERFUL to other people. No substance to any of it. I have seen many narcs keep up appearances for their own egos/public images.

I am quite sure that's what makes many of us feel ambivalent about Facebook!

I don't think just being an alcoholic is the reason he is like this (plenty of non-alcoholics are terrible parents). It comes down to personal values PLUS alcohol.

Pippi, I think it's good for you to hear the perspective of someone in a healthy divorced relationship, or as healthy as it can be. We begin to think the craziness is normal, and this man helped remind you that it's not.

(((Pippi)))

Oh ok!
I was not being facetious here, just was puzzled for a minute. I grew up way before FB and social media and in an alcoholic home so sometimes I have to check base/references for what constitute normal behaviors.
I really did not mean it to sound sarcastic or whatever.

Pippi you will drive yourself crazy asking the "why" questions.
The best thing you can do for yourself is just accept the situation & make the most of it as you are doing by raising your children.
All that matters is that the kids have 1 stable parent to raise them.
Hugs.