I don't want to know....leave me alone please, xabf
 

Recap
My xabf was lying to me and his girlfriend. His GF texted me and the truth came out. She and I talked and texted and I was genuinely concerned about her because he was physically and verbally abusing her when he is intoxicated. (BTW he told me he wasn't with her and that he wasn't attracted to her. She's old and not his type at all. He loves me and has always loved me and wants a future with me....blah blah blah.) Tried to be there for her. Told her to get therapy, come to SR, and go to Al-anon. I've also told her to text me if she ever needed to talk or just needed support.
I'm actually doing ok, cause that was the last draw for me. I don't need someone like that in my life. The alcohol, the lying, the way he talks to me when he is drunk (very sexual in a gross way) and betrayal is too much for me. I've blocked and erase him from my contact, but he found a way to text me and tell me he is still with her and that my plan didn't work and she loves him. OMG. I really don't care what happens to him at this point. It's his life and he is free to choose whatever he wants to do. I just wish he would just leave me out of it. He told me that I backstabbed him by telling her....blah blah blah. Really?!?! She texted me at 4:00 in the morning cause he was drunk and finally let go of his phone. And he was the one who lied toner and I. Grrrrrrrrr.
I haven't even texted the GF to see if she is ok cause I don't want to know anything about him. I feel bad but I am putting me first. She is a grown woman who knows he is an alcoholic and I have informed her of the other stuff that she totally didn't know about. I've done my part in order for her to make her own decision. Right?
Thanks everybody for letting me rant.

now print it out.

tear it up and wad it up.

take it to the toilet.

flush.

and say . . . .

SH!T BE GONE!

(click your heels three times, and flush again, if there are floaters.)

btw, good job on all the rest.

Putting you first is EXACTLY right, lovenlies. They are both adults and can make their own decisions. You owe neither of them anything at all. Hammer's advice is very sound, I think, in addition to being amusing--SH!T BE GONE indeed!

Keep on taking care of you. Hope you find a way to completely block him from contacting you.

There's some saying in Al Anon. I can't remember how it goes. Something like, "Say it once and you are helping. Anything more than that and you're nagging." Anyhow, you've put the info and resources out there for her. Now you can "Let go and let God."

Give her the number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline and walk away. This is not helpful to YOUR own recovery. She needs to draw the line herself.

Hugs....

As long as you continue to respond, you will get pulled into the vortex. Why not delete both of them and if either one finds a way to contact you, IGNORE it. Eventually when they don't get the reaction they are looking for, they will seek it somewhere else. It's no longer your problem, unless you allow it to be.

Thanks everyone for your responses and encouragement. I have not responded to him. I am choosing not to because no matter what he says it's either a lie, a manipulation, an excuse, or a con. No more. Don't get me wrong hard as he'll not to want to hear to his voice but I'm just so done. As for his GF she hasn't contacted me. It's more me wanting to help her through this cause I know how hard it is. I was in it for over 2 years and all of you here and therapy to get me out of the merry go round. But you guys are right, like him, I cannot want what is best for them. They have to want it for themselves. I said it once ok maybe twice and now I don't want to be a nag. Should I suggest to her the National Domestic Violence Hotline?

Yes, that is exactly what you should do, and then back away. You can't really help her and it would just keep you involved in the madness. Refer her to those who know how to help her. ((HUGS))

I am LIKING this.

Thanks!