Funny, the comment from Iamthird struck a chord with me to & I couldn't help but think about my emotional state recently during court proceedings.
I so wish I was stronger but then again I accept that I have been through a lot & received a lot of mental abuse which makes me cave in when I'm near XH.
I think that people should show empathy but realistically they don't.
My 50cents worth of thoughts dandylion.

I sure do hear you, Rosie!!!!!!!

dandylion

Dandylion, another word has sprung upon me & it is quite fitting for a person going through a court process & how they feel. It is this:

vulnerable

adjective: vulnerable

exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
"we were in a vulnerable position"

synonyms: in danger, in peril, in jeopardy, at risk, endangered, unsafe, unprotected, ill-protected, unguarded; open to attack, attackable, assailable, exposed, wide open; undefended, unshielded, unfortified, unarmed, without arms, without weapons, defenceless, easily hurt/wounded/damaged, powerless, helpless; rarepregnable, impuissant, resistless
"they evacuated children from the most vulnerable cities"


•exposed to, open to, wide open to, liable to, prone to, prey to, susceptible to, subject to, not above, in danger of, at risk of, at the mercy of, an easy target for, easily affected by;
in the firing line;

Rosie---I absolutely could not agree m ore. Especially, going to court up against a hostile narcissistic opponent.
I estimate that feeling vulnerable would be a feeling that many others on this forum can identify with--at one time or another.

Wow. I sure have. I know what it is like to feel small, unseen, alone and scared. This can be the context for the "emotions" that I described in this thread.

dandylion

It just seems a bit unfair, in a court situation. Then again my AH cried today and without even looking at him I knew it was fake. But for victims recalling extreme emotional and or emotional abuse, how could you hold all of that pain and fear in?

Well.. In court with my x I remained stoic, responded factually and let my lawyer lead. I never looked at x once. I was not going to let him take my power from me at that moment. He played the poor me card, it didn't fly, with anyone.

It's over now. I never have to see that person again. Ever. Thank god.

This is a very interesting thread. It reminds me of the saying that I see here at SR often; "Feelings aren't facts" (or is it "emotions aren't facts?). While it carries a different meaning when we use it here it seems like it applies, doesn't it?

Speaking specifically of the courtroom example of course, I imagine that it would be very difficult for the courts to try to determine, in such a relatively short amount of time, who is truly showing deeply rooted emotion & who is really good at faking it to create drama.

Or how difficult it would be to strip the emotions away from the facts of the case, which is the only part of the proceedings that can be/should be used to be able to place judgement on the outcome. The law doesn't allow for emotions, by & large. Not saying they never factor in, but the letter of the law is more black & white; opinion doesn't (shouldn't) sway proof/evidence.

I think emotions are often perceived as opinions in this kind of setting & often cloud the facts, especially if whoever is making that determination doesn't have the time or ability to separate the 2. Just my $.02.