Alone with your thoughts...
 

What do you do when you're alone with your thoughts and those thought are making you sad/upset/anxious?

A couple of things really help me when I'm feeling this way. One of them is to talk to a good friend/family member. Through my whole breakup ordeal with my XABF, my mom and my close friend were the two people I turned to the most because they were always patient and understanding. However, I think there is such a thing as talking "too much" about it all....

And in that case, writing in my journal has been a lifesaver. For the first couple months after the breakup with my XA, I always kept a notebook and pen with me in case the anxiety was unbearable. When that would strike, I would stop and write whatever was on my mind. I would instantly feel relief! I've struggled with anxiety for most of my 20's now, and I've come to value writing as the best medicine for me....I'm not a MD, but it has honestly helped me more than any medication I've tried.

Breath in, breath out. Focus on the breath.

Over the past week about five people have told me to write to feel better. I might try it. I need a distraction. Any other ideas that have worked for anyone? Books/music/activities? I need to get some ideas together and just try them because if I'm having a tough time being alone these past few days. I'm ok when I'm with people during the day but not doing well alone at night...

I take my power back.


I am sure you have seen the movie, Dirty Dancing and the one line I just love.........

"Nobody puts baby in the corner."

This is all about you now, You and you alone are responsible for your own well being.

You sound like a very sweet and sincere person, you just have to believe in yourself here, take a huge leap of faith and go and reintroduce yourself to the world. There are thousands and thousands of available men who would be honored to have a committed partner. ( I'm not saying do this today, just a future option , this is not the end , it's a new chapter )

I get out on my bicycle (weather permitting) and explore somewhere new in or around my city.

Walking is always good, maybe take a camera along and practice taking artsy photographs? I tend to ruminate when I walk, so the camera excuse helps keep my mind focused on something other than my problems. Here's some basic photography composition tips for taking great pictures: Top 10 Photography Composition Rules

Another thing I do is cook up a storm - I'm just finishing up a crockpot Thai-style curry recipe as I type. It's delicious and spicy as heck!

I need plenty of tricks up my sleeve to keep myself from getting overwhelmed by thinking too hard sometimes!

Photography is something I have always been interested in... And the Thai dish looks yummy. You've got me thinking...

I get out if I can. Walk, run, hike, something. Being outdoors helps clear my head.

I've been struggling with this too. Things that have helped: going to the gym, riding a bike, reading good books (I've read more in the past two month than I have in years), calling friends, and spending time with my friends and their young kids (it's nice to spend time with people who I cannot talk about my adult problems with). I still have plenty of too alone with my thoughts time though. I'm trying to just breathe through it as suggested.

This is something I did when I was a hot mess after a very painful break-up (I described earlier).

It is something like a wailing wall. I allowed myself to fall apart crying and feeling all the pain of the loss for one hour in the evening (I worked a very demanding job during the day--where I had to put on a smile and attend to the needs of others). I would fill the bathtub with a few inches of cold water and sit on the side of the tub with my feet in the water--and let all the pain in my heart come to the surface---and the anger would come rolling out, also. I would cry and say all the angry things and --literally wail.

I allowed one hour's time--I never made it that far--more l ike twenty minutes at the worst. Gradually, the time lessened. I just did as much as I felt like at the moment.
During the rest of my time I tried to not think about him and the relationship--saving it for the evening wailing wall. I wore a rubber band around my wrist during the day to remind myself not to obsess.

I also tried to rely on comedy--watch funny movies and comedians every chance I could get. I lived for Saturday Nite Live--LOL. Laughter actually changes your brain chemistry.

The wiling wall thing actually incorporates behavior modification principles which there is not enough room to go into, right now--but it works. I promise.

dandylion

When my ex-husband divorced me and I was living on my own again, I had the radio playing (classical music) all night long. It was the only way I found to keep my thoughts from keeping me awake all night!

I'm prone to terrible anxiety when I'm alone with my racing thoughts, and try to distract myself in any way I can.. I agree with everyone about seeing friends, or watching something funny. I also like what Dandylion said about wailing. If I just allow myself to break down into tears, I always feel not only happier but much less anxious.

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I read a book, exercise, knit, cross stitch or crochet. Sometimes I get busy with one of those cleaning projects we all like to put off. I'll clean out the cabinets or the closet. Not only does it keep me busy, but I get a feeling of accomplishment after I'm done. It always feels good to get those tedious chores done .

Have you tried the Sedona Method? It helped me a little--you can google it for information.

I write it down.

Or I have a cup of Chamomile tea. Although its promoted as a sleep-aid, it doesn't actually have any sedative properties so its not dangerous. It does calm you though. A person I work with drinks it before giving presentations to settle her nervousness.

Another thing I do is ask myself, "If I wasn't so worried about X right now, what would I be thinking about or doing?" Then I turn my attention to whatever the answer is.