Congratulations on 2 months Ruby
I hear you, it took me a long time and I still have trouble distinguishing between them. As a rule of thumb though, I am way more out of whack when I turn on the codie crazy than when I drank but like you, both are tightly interwoven. It s a work in progress and if I am not watchful, the "codie crazy" could lead me to a drink.

I never realized how my drinking affected other people until I got into a relationship with an alcoholic. What a realization. It took me a while to process and let go of the guilt.

Since my first thought was: "Great Idea!!", it probably is :lmao

One million billion trillion thanks to NYC Doglover who posted "my pain is my fault". I NEEDED that. RIGHT NOW. My husband hasn't had a drink in two months, and I find myself feeling just as angry and raw as I did when he was still drinking. Even more so now, because I think I've started to let my guard down and allowed myself to have a real emotional response, however delayed. The situation is changing for the better, but I'm not improving along with it. There's no longer any real reason to feel this way, but I am still suffering, and it's all my fault. What a relief!! Finally: something I can do something about. Himself's alcoholism doesn't make me codependent, I do. The good news about things that are all my fault is I can fix them.

Thank you Carlotta for this wonderful place of support.

Triple winner here. I'm 3 months sober from ALcohol. Both parents were As. DH recently started abusing Vicodin (last 3 years).

I'm tired.

I'm sober and living with another recovering A. I am trying to pause as the saying goes and not react to him. It does help the situation not to escalate. I do want to stand up for myself though It's very difficult to strike a balance. He works from home and I am presently looking for work so we come in contact with each other. I do my best to stay out of his way. He gets stressed at times and it feels to me like he goes out of his way to be OCD. I am putting in a lot of time walking the dog. The big thing is not drinking. I feel it is my only revenge. Ha! Thanks SR for letting me vent.

Just posting to bump this thread.

Thanks Seren for posting the link

yeah thanks for the link Seren! i'd been following your poll carlotta but hadn't voted... a little conflicted i think. i post in so many different forums here already! i guess i'm a triple winner - acoa, aa, alanon - so i gain insight and value from the whole board!

yet i have felt out of place often and when i'm really struggling i tend to get very quiet as where do i post? i am a whole person and true crisis for me isn't about any one of these areas but me trying to navigate them all...

and i have on occasion felt insulted by some of the reactions on f&f. not often and it helps me to understand the importance of being gentle with each other. after all, it is pain that brings us here and i would never want to add to someone else's pain.....

ok, here in a double winner thread, i have to say that someone posted that people who call their selves double winners 'just want to feel special'. that really hurt. i had never heard the term double winner until i found SR. it meant a lot to me in learning to understand that i had separate issues which each had to be addressed and overcome in order for me to grow in recovery. by separating each of the arenas of addiction that i deal with, i can focus growth and recovery one thing at a time and make better progress.

understanding that i am triple winner to me means i am becoming whole again. that i am working recovery in all the dark places of my life...

your courage shines carlotta in everything you do here! :tyou

Triple winner. Child of a parent who no longer drinks due to health reasons, alcoholic/addict myself (in recovery) and living with someone who quit drinking when he met me. He still hasn't had a drink after almost a year but I'm starting to see some signs of behavior that I find unacceptable. Thank you for bumping the thread.

Thanks for bumping this thread!!

I, personally, have always felt welcome on the F&F forum, but I was a codie long before I became an A. The great thing about SR is that there are all kinds of forums and threads. I tend to fit in quite a few areas.

I have been in recovery for addiction and codependency for a little over 8 years. A week before my 8th year "birthday", I found out my niece and her husband were addicted to pain pills.

I love my niece like my own child, helped raise her except for the years I was being stupid. My warnings of her having addiction in every cell of her body (both sides of the family, 3-4 generations that I know of - she is my step-niece) fell on deaf ears.

Her husband also has addiction in his family. My stepmom had been handing them pain pills, like candy, until she died of an unintentional OD 16 months ago.

The kids are on methadone, they have a 2-year-old. I don't think they get how serious this is, that methadone is not a cure, but I have to let them follow their own path.

I am blessed to be living on my own, do not have to get into the daily stuff. I'm supportive but detaching with love.

What I went through, with my own addiction, didn't have any influence. Luckily, for me, I know that I had to find MY own path and I will not take that opportunity away from either of them.

My stepbrother is an alcoholic, I've cut ties with him after he threatened my dad and I when his mom died. One stepsister is probably still doing heroin. Haven't heard from her in years, she lives in NY. Love them both, but I have to protect my serenity, sanity and recovery.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Thanks for bumping this. I will probably start a sister thread in the newcomer to recovery tomorrow. If I do, I will post the link here :)