OT Facebook drama
 

So my dad posts in my wall "I have an empty feeling as I have not seen you for a while now"

I think it has been 2 years since I last saw him. Or maybe 3.

He was the one who left decades ago and now that he is near the Polar Circle in Finland he "misses me".


I was inclined to post my feelings as a comment but I know FB is not a place for drama. I have my mom, and his wife there as well. Sheesh.

Just needed to vent in a safe place. I am tempted to reply "I have missed you for decades, you were the one who decided to leave".

But I know this comes from the place where I want revenge, I want him to hurt and I want him to feel abandoned as I have felt all my life.


Thanks for listening.

Anger is a natural feeling. It sounds almost like a death, the death of an ideal you had, something you wanted, but something that cannot be. Let it go. Accept his failure and move on. And shine.

Oh TC, I am sorry. That must have stung. But good for you for not firing back! I too would have been so tempted.

Hugs,
~T

Thanks friends, that is a tool I learned from you.. it is OK to pause.. it is OK to reflect... it is OK to take time... and not to instantly react.

At least now I realize when I am coming from a place of pain and not from my heart. Progress not perfection........

My ex therapist used to say that is common--parents taking their decisions then later in older age, finally regretting things and feeling guilt. Same goes for codies/alcoholics, anyone who knows they were not available for their children the way they needed.

I know I have to heal this. In fact I feel that healing is the reason I am around.

I'm glad you recognize this. :)

Sending you hugs of support. :hug:

Thank you Freedom, ((((hugs back))))

A long afternoon ahead of me but I know I can be with my feelings, no need for the judgmental mind to interfere with them.

Thanks, thanks for letting me share.

Wait he posted this on your wall, where other people can see it?

It sounds like he did that for attention.

He could have sent you a PM. But he chose to post it on your wall, where others can see it.

Yes choublak.. he asks my sister how I am doing.. instead of asking me, directly....

I answered to him "almost 3 decades of absence" .....

God, help me transcend this....

He answered "Thank you my dear. How are things going?"
What does that mean??


I deleted his entire post....


Unfortunately with some other priorities I haven't had $$ to spend in therapy yet, but I got a number already and hopefully next paycheck I can schedule my appointment.. I have looked forward to it for a long time.