OT Facebook drama

Old 02-04-2013, 09:30 AM
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Unhappy OT Facebook drama

So my dad posts in my wall "I have an empty feeling as I have not seen you for a while now"

I think it has been 2 years since I last saw him. Or maybe 3.

He was the one who left decades ago and now that he is near the Polar Circle in Finland he "misses me".


I was inclined to post my feelings as a comment but I know FB is not a place for drama. I have my mom, and his wife there as well. Sheesh.

Just needed to vent in a safe place. I am tempted to reply "I have missed you for decades, you were the one who decided to leave".

But I know this comes from the place where I want revenge, I want him to hurt and I want him to feel abandoned as I have felt all my life.


Thanks for listening.
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:39 AM
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Anger is a natural feeling. It sounds almost like a death, the death of an ideal you had, something you wanted, but something that cannot be. Let it go. Accept his failure and move on. And shine.
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:51 AM
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Oh TC, I am sorry. That must have stung. But good for you for not firing back! I too would have been so tempted.

Hugs,
~T
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:57 AM
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Thanks friends, that is a tool I learned from you.. it is OK to pause.. it is OK to reflect... it is OK to take time... and not to instantly react.

At least now I realize when I am coming from a place of pain and not from my heart. Progress not perfection........
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:05 AM
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My ex therapist used to say that is common--parents taking their decisions then later in older age, finally regretting things and feeling guilt. Same goes for codies/alcoholics, anyone who knows they were not available for their children the way they needed.

I know I have to heal this. In fact I feel that healing is the reason I am around.
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:29 AM
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Originally Posted by TakingCharge999 View Post
I know I have to heal this. In fact I feel that healing is the reason I am around.
I'm glad you recognize this.

Sending you hugs of support.
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:42 AM
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Thank you Freedom, ((((hugs back))))

A long afternoon ahead of me but I know I can be with my feelings, no need for the judgmental mind to interfere with them.

Thanks, thanks for letting me share.
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:57 AM
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Wait he posted this on your wall, where other people can see it?

It sounds like he did that for attention.

He could have sent you a PM. But he chose to post it on your wall, where others can see it.
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:00 AM
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Yes choublak.. he asks my sister how I am doing.. instead of asking me, directly....

I answered to him "almost 3 decades of absence" .....

God, help me transcend this....
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:27 AM
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He answered "Thank you my dear. How are things going?"
What does that mean??


I deleted his entire post....


Unfortunately with some other priorities I haven't had $$ to spend in therapy yet, but I got a number already and hopefully next paycheck I can schedule my appointment.. I have looked forward to it for a long time.
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