Originally Posted by mmk11 (Post 3502738)

This is exactly what A's want you to think! When A's make us out to be the bad guy, the focus is off of all their bad behavior.

In the weeks leading up to my separation and during, my AH managed to somehow convince me- in his d!ckhead way- that him "checking out" of the relationship was my fault: I didn't appreciate him enough, why did I say this, why did I do that, why wasn't I more affectionate, why wasn't I more understanding, what wasn't I why wasn't why wasn't I. So what did I do? Fed his black hole of an ego by trying to prove I am worthy and how amazing he is and how much I want to be with him!

Originally Posted by ZiggyB (Post 3502874)

I'm so glad I found this forum, amazing that we all went through the same thing. I got the 18 point lecture on everything I was doing wrong as well. Of course the problems in our relationship had NOTHING to do with the fact that he was an alcoholic... If only *I* could have been a better person. yeah right.... I hate to sound bitter but I hope he is having fun being alone with his vodka right now.