Man I have always been interested in asked me out Yes yes I know it's not the right time, not while still living with AH, but I have ADORED this man for years and he just asked me out. I almost fainted. I smell bad, my hair is messy and I'm fat. I was stunned. I giggled a bit and he gave me his number, I didn't say yes or no because I wanted to die. I'm so cheesed right now that I can't date him! I know myself and am already scheming how to go out with him. He's BEAUTIFUL, humble, very respectful, loves and honors women, smart, compassionate. Our kids go to school together so I know him from the school and the Trader Joe store where he works. One thing's for sure, it makes me question my attractiveness (see above) which can't be good. omg. I can't believe it. I have looked at him for years and thought, "I want a man like that." |
He obviously thought none of those things! And he is obviously interested in you because you're YOU. You are worthy of a "beautiful" man and all of those other positive traits he has. I'll tell you the same thing I tell my gfs (and yes of course I'm guilty of this too): no negative self talk! Confidence is sexy. Like crazy sexy. |
Not to rain on your parade but I have looked at him for years and thought, "I want a man like that." There are good men out there. Just be careful not to fall for appearances and dreams. |
Hi Transformyself, What a nice feeling to have your crush ask you out. You must feel like a giggling school girl. :) I know I would. Presently, I'm focused on me and I'm off the market and under construction. I really need this time to myself and for the first time ever, I'm taking it. But, it would be *extremely* hard for me to stay away from someone I actually liked for so long. So, I fully understand where you are coming from. Here is a thought I remind myself of to prevent myself from seeking or allowing a man into my life at this time: "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." I am in NO hurry to get into a relationship. I am also worth waiting for. If a man truly desires me, then he will be a patient friend until I'm ready for more. In turn, I also need to be patient and wait for someone worthy of my time, affection, and attention. I can't allow myself to settle for any man that comes my way. Not saying that he is "any man." It's just for me I have to be careful to not let the hopeless romantic in me settle for any man...like I did in my past. Just sharing my own experience. I hope it helps in some kind of way. Love and Light, Lily :) |
Presently, I'm focused on me and I'm off the market and under construction. Anvil: last he knew AH and I were separated and in the process of divorce. That's before I had the brilliant idea of letting AH move in because, as he put it, "I"m already paying all the bills." Illamy: Oh I know. Plenty of women say that about MY AH Too!!! |
Originally Posted by transformyself
(Post 3494030)
Yes yes I know it's not the right time, not while still living with AH, but I have ADORED this man for years and he just asked me out. I almost fainted. I smell bad, my hair is messy and I'm fat. I was stunned. I giggled a bit and he gave me his number, I didn't say yes or no because I wanted to die. I'm so cheesed right now that I can't date him! I know myself and am already scheming how to go out with him. He's BEAUTIFUL, humble, very respectful, loves and honors women, smart, compassionate. Our kids go to school together so I know him from the school and the Trader Joe store where he works. One thing's for sure, it makes me question my attractiveness (see above) which can't be good. omg. I can't believe it. I have looked at him for years and thought, "I want a man like that." |
ok Alucard you're my new best friend. |
Originally Posted by DefofLov
(Post 3494077)
Hi Transformyself, What a nice feeling to have your crush ask you out. You must feel like a giggling school girl. :) I know I would. Presently, I'm focused on me and I'm off the market and under construction. I really need this time to myself and for the first time ever, I'm taking it. But, it would be *extremely* hard for me to stay away from someone I actually liked for so long. So, I fully understand where you are coming from. Here is a thought I remind myself of to prevent myself from seeking or allowing a man into my life at this time: "Anything worth having is worth waiting for." I am in NO hurry to get into a relationship. I am also worth waiting for. If a man truly desires me, then he will be a patient friend until I'm ready for more. In turn, I also need to be patient and wait for someone worthy of my time, affection, and attention. I can't allow myself to settle for any man that comes my way. Not saying that he is "any man." It's just for me I have to be careful to not let the hopeless romantic in me settle for any man...like I did in my past. Just sharing my own experience. I hope it helps in some kind of way. Love and Light, Lily :) Like everyone here, I am not all that crazy about being alone, at 43, I have little interest in the single life anymore, other than using it to find someone who wants to get serious about a real relationship.....but I am currently in the process of completing my bachelor's degree, and I need another year and a half to do that, of full time school, I need to then use it to get a real career going once again, move out of this tiny studio which is fine for a single student, but sucks as far as having a family, and I just need to work on me for a while. I need to get in tip top physical, mental and emotional condition and only then will I be ready to find her, hopefully a non-alcoholic woman who I can do normal things with. A movie, a restaurant, normal vacations, bike rallies, exercising together, just renting a flick and sitting home with popcorn watching it. Life with this alcoholic consisted of sitting on a sofa at home watching her guzzle booze until 3am and it bored the you know what out of me. I still hold out hope to maybe even be married again, but I want it with a normal woman. |
Life with this alcoholic consisted of sitting on a sofa at home watching her guzzle booze until 3am and it bored the you know what out of me. |
Anvil: I'll fry his big fish alright. Ha! :lmao Of course, that's the whole point of this thread, to vent and process. |
Originally Posted by transformyself
(Post 3494090)
ok Alucard you're my new best friend. OR.....See an attorney, leave his drunk (pseudonym for buttocks) and call this wonderful man and tell him you are going through a divorce and need his support....and begin what may be the relationship of your lifetime. Only you can decide. |
Hey Mister New Best Friend: I am leaving him. Done deal. I"ve also left an abusive business partner and guess what?? The offers are POURING in. Someone just offered me $1000 to do some political work, high pressure fast approaching deadline, but I'm uniquely qualified for it. Feels GREAT!! |
Originally Posted by transformyself
(Post 3494122)
Hey Mister New Best Friend: I am leaving him. Done deal. I"ve also left an abusive business partner and guess what?? The offers are POURING in. Someone just offered me $1000 to do some political work, high pressure fast approaching deadline, but I'm uniquely qualified for it. Feels GREAT!! Call your man and have coffee with him, and do some serious talking. |
You go girl, at least it's a little boost to the self esteem. Be cautious though. If he knows you still live with your ex, he may be one of those guys who look for women who are "unavailable". I am not a great person to offer relationship advice but I know this, I followed my heart and lost everything. Next time around I will follow my head |
TF, enjoy your internal bump in status. :) Even if you can't do anything about it right now isn't great to know that their are others out there that find you attractive and interesting? Not the we here didn't already feel that about you. ((((hugs)))) Your friend, |
You got lots of great advice on here. I know how good it feels to get attention, it seems that I've been a man magnet since I've been here in FL. I had another guy hit on me in front of my son and his friend yesterday. He called me beautiful lady and then followed it up with princess and told me my son and his friend must be my guardians, LOL! My son kept walking around yesterday saying, "Hey, how's it goin' Princess?" I also had 2 men call me smiley girl a few days ago at my son's tennis tournament. They said I was just always smiling. It's good to know, for me, that I can still turn heads and that people do recognize my inner peace and happiness. Honestly, though, if someone asked me out and I was separated, I'd probably turn them down at this point. I have a whole heck of a lot of work to do on myself and I don't want to bring codependent ME into a new relationship. Too much work, thanks, and I want to someday have a REAL relationship.....if my AH wants to come along, great. If not, his loss. |
I am in no way ready to date Thanks for letting me process externally here. Not sure how long ago I posted this, but it was right after I got home from the store. It's only taken this long for me to decide that even thinking about dating gives me too much anxiety to deal with. I would rather get to know MYSELF and have a beautiful relationship with me. Yes, I'm confident and that's probably what attracts him to me. But as soon as I learned he's single and there might be a chance for me to spend time with him, my internal wiring went berserk. Not a good sign. The immediate effect (euphoria, fantasy, excitment) wore off pretty quickly and I went back to my own life, which needs all kinds of work right now. I'm sick and have to figure out wtf is wrong with me I'm dis-entageling from both my business partner and my husband, I just got two new contracts dumped in my lap and when you're self employed you take em when they come and most importantly, the thought of dating freaks me out. I'm too insecure. I have a heart attack every time I have to publicly speak, MC an event, present on a panel or do a media interview. I feel like I'm scamming all of these people and when they find out I'll be busted. I wouldn't date me, so I better fix that first before I entangle my life with someone else. |
Originally Posted by transformyself
(Post 3494254)
I would rather get to know MYSELF and have a beautiful relationship with me. |
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