Weirdness!
 

Hi all, AH left yesterday...very incommunicato...which cool for me. I keep expecting the shoe to drop and have it get ugly, but nope. Seems he is going no contact with me for the most part. Like I said, good for me. BUT, I am somewhat concerned that he has not even asked about our son or even tried to contact him. Wow...if he just walks and leaves his son completely behind, it sure is going to be hard on the little guy....he is already saying he misses Dad. (At the same time, it is so peaceful and really not much has changed for him except that Dad is not walking around the house and hanging outside smoking and hiding his drinking.) It just feels very weird...last time I left, he was a robo-dialer with the phone and texts etc. I still feel on the alert though, just in case. I don't know...it just feels weird...

Just got a text message...."Good night from the person who is totally not where he should be". Then the house phone rings only twice. Sheesh...I guess it was the calm before the storm. But still, no attempt to talk to his son. Oh boy...here we go....

They can go from saint to devil in a second. Their actions can be completely unpredictable and turn on a dime. Please keep your baby and yourself safe.

I don't know your history but I sent the kids to counseling. The mental health department had a program specifically designed for kids. It's still going to affect the kids but they seemed to have coped better than if I tried to do anything. Just an option to consider for your son.

I plan on counseling for both of us. I think it will help us both. Spes, parts of my story are on here if you do a look up with keepingmyjoy, but it was a very scary time last time. So I am on alert because he can get very mean when drinking. He never actually hurt me, but the walls and doors are scarred. He got sober for a long time before I would consider going back to him. And here I am again...I am looking forward to the peacefulness again, and the lack of absolute craziness. The tough time getting there will be worth it! How are you holding up Spes? Kiana, thanks and you are so right!

So it starts...I was out in the garage and all of a sudden the garage door starts to open and a car is rushing down the road....he drove by and opened the garage door. Seriously? I mean WTF? The dog is on the alert...Sheesh. Can you say "Cops" anyone? I will call them in a heartbeat.

Is it possible to change the code on the garage door? Also, you might consider changing the locks on the house. Please, do whatever you need to in order to keep yourself safe.

I did as you suggested and read your posts. I truly hope all goes well for you; you deserve to live in peace.

I'm learning a lot; just finished my 2nd book and started the 12 steps here in this forum. Had another scary episode last night but I am finding that SR is helping me cope. Thank you for asking.

I wish you and your son well.

Isn't this the best place Spes? I am glad this site is helping you too. It was a salvation for me back then, and again now. This time, I will not stop coming here...I have a lot of work to do to get strong again and I hope to help someone else if I can.

Suki, I will call about changing the locks tomorrow. For tonight, I just unplugged the garage door opener so he do that again and I am trying to make it really hard to open the doors. At least it will buy me time to call 911 if I have to. I want to believe I won't have to, but like I said, he is being weird...different than last time. So I am not taking anything for granted. I am bringing the phones to bed with me, house and cell. I hope I can sleep tonight.

freakin ridiculous way to have to live, isn't it? Mine was a guy who would never harm a soul sober, yet I am poised to get an order of protection. He is still smart enough to not do/say anything outright threatening, but as his addiction progresses, who knows.

Safety, peace, and love to you and your son

Now it starts is right. Put your seatbelt on...the crazy train is officially leaving the station, and you will need every ounce of strength you have to ride this one out. Do not let him defeat you or guilt you into doing something - anything - you don't want to do.

Do you have a local support network? Friends? Family?

It's not just the drinkers who do this. My XH didn't drink and he left and didn't ask about the kids. 2 years later, I'm locked in a custody battle because he is angry. Sigh. Good luck honey. Change the locks. Maybe take a little vacation.

Mine never care about his only biologycal daughter, for some reason I thought he will care about my kids (with 1st ah), he raised them since they were little, but NOPE, he is mad at me so he punish the children, (no contact with them either), that is what this selfish SOB do, it is all about himself.
Because of my recovery my boys are doing better now, keep up the good work.

I have alanon, my daughter (adult) and strangely enough...not many true friends. I thought I had some, but not one has called to see if I am doing ok. Kinda hurts. They have all fallen by the wayside because they did not want to deal with his crap I am guessing. You never knew who he was going to be, Jeckyl or Hyde. But I have you guys and that means more than anything! :ghug3

I got a text message this morning saying "Give my boy a hug for me". I did not respond. Um, isn't that what you should do? Shouldn't you talk to your son? Once again, he expects me to fix everything still. I have been detached for a while now (since everything got bad again), but he never gives up trying to make me fix things, and now even with his son.

Oh well...he riled up the Mama Bear....he should fear me more than I feel afraid right now. I will protect my son and daughter no matter what he throws at me!

Reminds me of when my mom kicked my dad out of the house (one of the many times she did that) and one random day he came back, parked in the garage and sat there waiting for her (he couldn't get in the house because she had changed the locks).

LOL That is too funny Choublak....I could see my AH doing that. I can just picture your dad in the car in the garage....sheesh. AH's are just crazy....I mean, who does that kind of thing?????

The thing is, neither of my parents are alcoholics...my dad, according to my mom, "has a toolbox of screws loose". He has a lot of control issues though. And yeah, thing is I was in the house, about to leave and go somewhere, when he came and parked himself in the garage, so then I was kind of stuck in the house because I didn't want to just walk out there with him waiting in the car. I don't remember how that ended, he either left eventually or my mom came home and they made up temporarily...

I'm glad you are ok.

Regarding garage security even if you change the code -- the rope or pulley or chain that is part of the interior manual garage door mechanism can be grasped by an intruder from outside of the garage (with a wire or similar tool slipped through), and the garage door manually opened from the outside. That rope or pulley can be secured to prevent that from happening.

Perfect...
 

...this is a great illustration of the kinds of things those of us affected by alcoholism know about. Who knows this ****? Well, people like us do. We even have a special thread about it here (which I suggest we split again-- time for a part three):

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-10.html

Cyranoak

So very true, unfortunately.