lillamy thanks, I took a bath and came back and read your post. Thanks for your point of view it really did help me. Did you hear back from the promising employer? your supervisor sounds like mine.

Let's see how the new accounts behave -for all I know they are the usual stuff without crazy hours. I get alerts for every account and I never see any of the usual chaos of the current one. The other accounts are US based so hopefully normal business hours are respected more.

I might be able to stay in my courses if I take them in the afternoon and on Saturday. I hope they give me that chance in the school.

I am also thinking about other choices. I might go get the M Sc. in September so I might try for the scholarship and if I don't get it, seek a different job.

Thanks so much friends, I hope I can recover from the codependency and not beat myself up this weekend. For being a doormat and letting them treat me this way for this long. For not considering options earlier.

At least as my sister says, this huge account will look good in my resume, but no work is worth health and mental sanity.

((TC999))
I hate change, so I stay in some situations a lot longer than is really healthy. On the other hand, I have run screaming from one situation to another and not been any better off. At least you have the sense to take some time and look at your options. It doesn't do any good to beat yourself up about the choices you have already made. If you were psychic, you would have made better choices, but you made the best choices you could with what you had. You went above and beyond what was asked of you. You were very loyal to whoever you work for. None of this is a reason to beat yourself up.

Now you realize that happiness and relaxation are priorities in your life. You are already working toward these goals. Again, I see nothing even remotely punishable in that. If you beat yourself up, it will be like beating an innocent child. I would suggest you give yourself a hug and some words of encouragement for all the good qualities and admirable goals you have. Don't torture yourself. It sounds like you get enough abuse from those around you. You deserve better treatment, and if you don't get that treatment from those around you, at least treat yourself with the respect, dignity, and kindness that you deserve. It might make things a little easier to bear. Hugs, Magic

You can still confront the bully over phone/email if that's how you interract. Set a boundary. "I'm very happy to work with you on this but raising your voice and being disrespectful like that isn't acceptable to me. Moving forward, let's get away from that. So about that report..."

Thanks friends , I confronted the man and told him he didn't have to talk to me in that way. Things have run "smoother" since...

I have my "performance review" tomorrow, I know it will be bad.

The new position? the tech in charge now tells me days are from 7 to 5 and some days are OK and "some days are horrible"... then I am dreading having to go to the office and run into XABF again/perhaps working with him.. I know I should be already above all this but its true, I still feel anxious.

I have asked my mom if she would support me for a while if I quit - she said yes...

The truth is that testing the new studies I am loving them and I wouldn't be happier studying and doing my homework and taking some other part time job (or preparing for some other IT job when they can let me study for 4 hours straight !! the current one cannot guarantee that, in fact when I asked to stay in my current shift they said NO and asked for me to work from 8 to 5 and no longer from home. This after I have worked whenever required including nights and weekends and Christmases and New Years and anytime...

PLEASE God send me some clarity right away. I plan to bring my long hours to HR, perhaps they have some suggestions.. the new HR manager is a good person and with ethics (it feels as if everyone else has a normal/flexible job but our team.. in fact the company is now has improved its "great place to work" rating.. ironic)

Thanks for letting me vent.

Just sending kind thoughts to you for clarity and hope, and that it works out like it should.

Thank you LifeRecovery.. couldn't sleep all night, anxious .. :(

Yesterday I talked to my local manager and HR.. both are saying that it was my issue not to complain more about the extra hours ... BS, everyone in the upper levels knew, t and even with more "direct managers" we still work 60 hour long weeks...no quick "fix"...

At least I was told I might get compensated by this year's extra hours ..

Then I was told everyone had given a really bad feedback but that they were going to give me a special opportunity to prove my worth.

I am 99% sure I will walk soon....

It sounds like an abusive relationship alright, with the abuser promising good things to come when in reality its all the same BS over and over again..