Stronger Woman... I've been having a rough couple of days and I feel like I am barely holding it together. Work is super busy and stressful. I work in a NICU (baby ICU) and we have lots of premature and sick babies. I love my job and what I do, but my head hasn't been in it 100%. I'm in the process of leaving my alcoholic fiance. On my "days off" I'm packing boxes, going through all of our stuff, and trying to move over everything I can to my new apartment. I should have everything out by this friday (Aug 12th), at least the stuff I care about anyways. I've explained to my fiance that I don't want to break up (at least not yet) but that his drinking is affecting me in a negative way and I need space. If he wants to work on staying sober I'm wanting to try to maintain a relationship. If he continues to drink then at least I will be all moved out and I will most likely end the relationship and move on. To top it all off he has been flirting with some girl from the store, been texting sexual and inappropriate texts back and forth. She is a recovering alcoholic with 3 kids. A perfect match I'm sure. When I asked him about it he told me he "couldn't be alone" and "you leaving crushed me". Blah, blah, blah....sure run to the first open arms you see and don't worry about how EVERYTHING is effecting me. Anyways, so nothing seems to be going right except for one thing. My friends have been super supportive of me. When I break down at work and start crying I'm surrounded by love and hugs. My girls are the best. Yesterday was the hardest, as I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before and spent 3:30am-5:30am arguing/crying with my A about the texts, the drinking, the girl. Then I worked from 6:30-midnight. My day was long and busy, my patients very sick and small. One of my coworkers and friends, the kindest, most supportive person you could meet, sent me a link to this song. I watched it and was crying by the end. She told me this song reminded her of me, that I deserve better, and that she loves me. I thought I'd take a minute and share it with the rest of you. For all of you out there who are feeling like me, a little lost, a little hopeless, have faith. I think I'm going to make this my new theme song, singing it in my head everytime I start to feel a little down. I tried to post the lyrics, but I can't cut and paste, sorry! ‪Jewel - Stronger Woman‬‏ - YouTube |
Sending hugs. Love this song! Here are the lyrics: "Stronger Woman" I guess you could say I'm one of those girls That's always been with one of those guys You know the type Like right now, he sleeps while I write But it's better than crying I'm worn out from trying From loving a man who always makes it clear I'm not welcome here Just when he's hungry or frisky or needs something cleaned And you know what I mean But not tonight 'Cause come the morning light, oh I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else Believe in me, even if someone can't see The stronger woman in me I'm going to be my own best friend Stick with me till the end Won't lose myself again, never, no, 'Cause there's a stronger woman, A stronger woman in me Light bulbs buzz, I get up And head to my drawer I wish there was more I could say Another fairytale fades to gray I've lived on hope Just like a child Walking that mile Faking that smile All the while Wishing my heart had wings Well from now on I'm going to be The kind of woman I'd want my daughter to be, oh I'm gonna love myself more than anyone else Believe in me, even if someone can't see A stronger woman in me I'm gonna be my own best friend Stick with me till the end I won't lose myself again, never, no 'Cause there's a stronger woman, A stronger woman This is me, packing up my bags And this is me, headed for the door And this is me, the best you ever had I'm going to love myself More than anyone else Believe in me even if someone cannot see There's a stronger woman in me I'm going to be my own best friend Stay with me till the end Won't lose myself again, never, no 'Cause there's a stronger woman A stronger woman There's a stronger woman, A stronger woman in me, Yeah... |
I feel your pain. I know you do understand that his texting this other woman has nothing to do with you, it's all about him. He is, who he is. A person who is truely committed to another would not do what he is doing. Hope that you can get some sleep, it sure will help you to clear your mind. Thanks for the update. |
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