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-   -   Mad, embarassed, sad for my kids (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/227188-mad-embarassed-sad-my-kids.html)

Buffalo66 05-17-2011 07:16 AM

I hear you on the out of sight out of mind thing on the littler kids, but, I dont buy it.

I think it is actually just very good denial mechanism in place*.

Mine will vocalize his anxiety in counseling(about daddy). Not to me, AND NEVER to his daddy.

BUt, I saw last week, that his daddy coming over to buy him a bike and acting slightly erratic set him into an anxiety attack. It was really hard. He is 6.

I know. I have similar questions about letting the emotional sleeping dogs lie...

I have been just asking him,. "do you need to tell me about any worries from today?"

fourmaggie 05-17-2011 09:36 AM


Originally Posted by Cyranoak (Post 2970110)
No trivial at all. He crossed the line. I hope that you see a new boundary needs to be put in place.

With all due respect, you know now what not to do next time, and we all know what, "I need to go to the store means" when an alcoholic says it. And it means the same thing every time. There are no exceptions.

Cyranoak

@Cyraboak, i think it hit it right on there!! yes, time to set boundaries...I totally agree with you there...its for the kids safty also

MyBetterWorld 05-17-2011 01:23 PM

yeah, I know what "go to the store means"

I don't try to argue, enable, control or stop him from doing anything anymore. I knew what he was going to do.....I guess I can only keep existing boundaries and set new ones if needed. I also know that I will never have full closure from him...he's the father of my dear children. I have (finally, after years.....why didn't I start sooner?) started keeping a journal of things and am starting the process of some drastic steps regarding his access to the kids. Wish I didn't have to, but it's long overdue.


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