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Congrats on the divorce and great job offer, Lulu! May only good things happen to you from now onwards. |
:explode OMG LuLu I need a fireman, can you spare one? |
Anvil, I guess after 8 years you may as well stay with him, and keep on "hankering" after him. |
Jadmark, you are so clever! " keep on "hankering" after him" Hee, Hee! |
Aw Lulu, I'm happy for you! (I mean, about the divorce and the firemen, not the jerk.) My divorce will be final in 9 days, not that I'm counting. Dating scares the crap out of me. I saw a magnet today while Christmas shopping online... that said "I don't date. I train." Made me think that perhaps I need a good race to focus on. I used to run half-marathons. Maybe it's time to train for a full. I feel like I've really indulged me this last year of separated singlehood... time for a new goal maybe. |
Originally Posted by coyote21
(Post 2777950)
Lots of wisdom in this whole thread. What I highlighted here is key for me, it's EXACTLY how I "found" myself married to an alcoholic. Also the scaricity (how the hell do you spell THAT word) principle, what a bunch of malarkey I sold myself for years. "Next" his azz. That means, you're done here, NEXT! Also the teaching the Universe how we expect to be treated. New job, more money, less stress, sign on money. I believe Noday is correct here, just the tip if the Luluberg. Congrats on your new life. Thanks and God bless us all, Coyote And yes I did "next" his azz. LOL. Its hard to do. I think this was the first time I ever walked away from a man that I really liked at the first red flag I saw. I usually do what Naive mentioned and get all wrapped up and then get either dumped or crawl away after being brought to my knees. There will be many Alanon mtgs for me in the next few days. Hugs! |
:peek Dating/socializing scares me too..
Originally Posted by lulu1974
(Post 2778977)
I think this was the first time I ever walked away from a man that I really liked at the first red flag I saw. Hugs! :You_Rock_ |
Originally Posted by DMC
(Post 2778328)
Aw Lulu, I'm happy for you! (I mean, about the divorce and the firemen, not the jerk.) My divorce will be final in 9 days, not that I'm counting. Dating scares the crap out of me. I saw a magnet today while Christmas shopping online... that said "I don't date. I train." Made me think that perhaps I need a good race to focus on. I used to run half-marathons. Maybe it's time to train for a full. I feel like I've really indulged me this last year of separated singlehood... time for a new goal maybe. Hugs, Lulu |
Sound the alarms. Five alarm fire at FD's house. I'm trapped on the top floor of my house and can't get out. Send those three firemen right away. I swear, I don't know how my house caught fire, Mr. Fire Chief. Must have been spontaneous combustion...in the nether regions. Congratulations on your divorce, Lulu, on ditching the cougar-calling creep, your new job, and your signing bonus. Now that's the way to start a new life! |
Big, big, big hugs to you. And YESSSS!!! on the new job!!! You really are starting your new life off!!! :) |
My biggest fear is I am such a fighter and survivor in every aspect in my life. I have always been successful and financially independent and have wonderful unbelieveable friends. I know this sounds so silly but I feel like I am cursed in love. I am never lucky in love. Never have been and I fear that will be the story of my life. Its a deep insecurity I feel. Its the one part of my life that never seems to fall into place no matter what I try or even if I stop trying. No matter what I cant find worthy love. Wow just typing that out made me hold my breath. Its such a deep rooted fear I have. When I found out AH not only had a girlfriend, but was "in looooove" with her, what I thought was my worst fear had been realized and after a few months of despair I realized I was free. When the thing you fear worst happens, you've got no where to go but up. The way I broke that fear was to simply change what I say about myself to myself. I was horrified After I found about about AH's affair, I was mortified to realize the things AH had said to me before I knew he was having an affair were true. My character defects and his assessment of them, his "reasons" for leaving me, were accurate. I was overbearing, controlling, a slob and had turned into a monster to live with. So, I did two things, I became determined to assess myself on my own and fix the **** I wanted to fix. But I couldn't get past the shame and guilt, that was keeping me stuck. So I came up with this phrase I forgive you for not knowing then what you know now and lovingly set you free and I consciously said it to myself,outloud, whenever I started beating myself up for driving my wonderful husband into the arms of another woman. God that makes me want to barf. ANYway- if you choose to use this tactic your phrase will be different than mine of course, but I cannot testify strongly enough to the power of this simple tool. Something like, "I am loveable, I experience love wherever I go, the perfect man is out there looking for me right now," or whatever. That's what helped me. But the first step is we utter the fear, learn to face it. Oh, and also that "Journey from Abandonment to Healing," book (Thank you Wicked my Darling) also dug out some of the last strongholds of my self sabotaging behaviors. Hope you had a fantastic holiday! |
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