What's the deal with me and my cat?!?
 

Seriously, this is driving me crazy.

My cat was an indoor (mostly) critter until AH stayed at my house in May with the kids and dogs and Snuggs in May for two weeks while I was out of town.

He let him out all the time. Since, it's been IMPOSSIBLE to keep him in. You can only back out of the house with a squirt bottle so many times.

So I let him out, mainly at night, while I lived at the old house, mostly because he would YELL until I let him out. *******.

So I moved, a block around the corner, and he does the same thing but then disappears for a few days. I find him of course, back at the old house.

I locked him up alone in the house with food water and litter last Thursday, brought him back home yesterday, stayed up with him, bringing him to bed with me when he wandered around screaming. Told him repeatedly that he can't go out. He finally went to sleep.

Then, he must have snuck out behind me when I went out this morning to take the garbage out because the ****** isn't here now.

I'm so pissed I can't even tell you. I've ******* had it with that guy. I agreed to take him for AH when we split.

There's something going on with me about him though, I think it's taht I project my anger towards AH onto him--he runs around for days doing god knows what, I worry my heart sick that somethings happened to him, then he shows up to eat, sleep and take off again.

I guess I"m powerless over my cat! :react

I'm not looking for advice, or ill placed blame so be respectful please. I"m trying to process wtf is going on with ME about this. I feel like it's a total waste of my time to continue to do this, madness really. I need sleep, I need sanity in my life, I don't want to chase that ******** all over the neighborhood and I dont' want him to go live somewhere else. I just want him to shut the **** up and stay here and do what I tell him to do.

He hates other cats and most dogs except my chihuahuas, tries to kill them in fact so he can't go to a home with other animals. He actually hissed at one of my dogs last night which freaks me out because he attacked Tinkerbell, my smallest chihuahua once and she needed medical care, got stitched up. She was between the glass door and a large dog that ran up to the door unleashed and Snuggs attacked the door, with Tinky between. It was horrific.

That was last summer. He's been "triggered," I guess you could call it, since. He sees a large dog and goes bananas.

He plays with my one year old puppy, but it's still a bit creepy. He's giant and outwieghs them by 15 pounds. It's like having a lion in your house, from their perspective.

I feel angry, sad and betrayed. I probably should find him a home with no animals where he can go outside all he wants. That makes me feel like crying. He's been with us for 6 years, and comforted me when I was at my worst.

I just dont' know wtf do to.

Does this cat have a drinking problem by chance?

L2L!!! That's it, I SWEAR!! I am projecting this onto him. I even posted on FB awhile back that cat's are like alcoholics!

Thanks for the laugh.

HAHAHAHAHA! I'm glad you got that I was trying to make you laugh.
That's exactly what I was thinking though, projection. Simple enough to stop if you want to. What is that saying? Something about how people will usually act the way we expect them to? I wonder if that applies to cats too? HAHAHA

This made me think about my old cats. They're both gone now, but I lived with the two of them through 10 years of my drinking life. I have no doubt that they saved my life on multiple occassions. If I hadn't had those two cats to care for, i would have had no reason to not open that second fifth of scotch every evening. I stayed just "sane" enough to care for them. Then they both saw me sober up and change my life. I owe those two cats soooo much. They were a gift from God to keep me just alive enough to hang on and eventually get help.

I would take him if I could! Sounds like my kinda cat!

I'll bet he's hid in under the sofa or somewhere like that. My cat does that. Open some sardines and that will flush him out. LOL

Transformy could mail him to you!

The more I get to know alcoholics the more I love my pets! (three border collies and one cat)

:Valdog:

Has your cat been spayed/neutered? The description of your cat's behavior makes me think that it hasn't been. Your description describes part of their mating behavior and can be very annoying. :gaah

Sounds to me like you have a choice. Either bang your head against a cat that doesn't want to change, (move to a new house) or give up the battle for the sake of your own serenity. I bet you couldn't have found a better web site to get sound advice in this matter :)

I know you said you weren't looking for advice, but with this thread and the last one in mind, I think I'd get a cat carrier and deliver the cat to your AH and let him deal with it. Either that or take the cat to a shelter where hopefully he can find a new home. The cat isn't going to change to please you and you either will have to make changes or continue on as is. Nothing changes if nothing changes. :)

Well he was, indeed sleeping it off in a pile of boxes in my closet. See? All that anger and abandonment for naught.

I think I've got his clock reset, hopefully. And today we have high winds. The doors and windows are open and he keeps going to the front screen door to look out, then run away when a big wind comes along.

See? I tell him. You don't want to go out there.

Yes, this guys' been spayed since he was a pup. kitten. He's insane I tell ya! An alcoholic cat to be sure.

I sure hope this is the end of the fight with him. The boys and I will lavish attention on him, he's not called Dr. Snuggs for nothing, he's very cuddly.

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/3...uggspretty.jpg

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and very strange
http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/4...ggsoncouch.jpg

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Yes, have you told AH about the cat? perhaps he wants him back and if so, the cat can wake AH up and not you, lol.

Would you rather keep the cat? if so there are great forums that can help RE behavior
I a member of
Purrs In Our Hearts - Cat Forum UK - Index
(hope its allowed to put that link)

There is a forum called "health and behavior" and they also offer rehoming tips, etc.

If you got Facebook you can also look for Cat related forums, upload pics of the cat and its easier to find a new loving home.. (that is about one of the few things I like about facebook, when its about animal care/rescue/rehoming)

Aww LOL ... awwwwwwwwwwwww
Thanks for the pics!!
My Gabanna "sits" like that too..!

Transform,
This is a wonderful allegory. The cat symbolizes the alcoholic. As a partner to an alcoholic I have tried to fix their behavior.

I think this is another lesson of acceptance. You cannot change a cat from being catlike (alcoholic from acting in their disease).

What you can change is the behavior with which you choose to respond (said gently and kindly).
1. I would cease to try to rescue the cat from previous residence.
2. I would let the cat out prior to going to sleep.

My point being that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting the outcome to change. You can only change your response (reaction) and not the cat (or alcoholic).

Hi everyone

AH can't take this guy. He hates all other cats and attacks them and AH has a roommate with a cat.

I agree that this is another step in acceptance, all though I dare say I may have won this one! Snuggs slept last night, he's up and moving around today, perhaps I"ve reset his kitty clock from nocturnal to day time walker.

He may be tired of living in an abandoned house too.

Regardless, I'll keep turning the keen eye inward, to sort out why I react the way I do.

Control freak, mostly.

OMG he is SO CUTE!!!

See!?!? It's just like the alcoholic! Charming, sweet, adorable, fuzzy. Then they take off for days, prowling around the neighborhood, until they land in someones garage confused, hungry and apologetic!~

so true so true. HAHAHAHA

I had a male that way spayed as a kitten only for the tubes to somehow reconnect later on and I had to have him spayed a second time.

My ginger tom that I have now is similar. He howls all the time and is very domineering over our other pets. I think he gets bored and he has seperation anxiety. He's also a house cat and I think he want's to be "top dog". He walks around grumbling too when he's fed up...it can be really annoying. I tend to just ignore him or squirt him with water if he's making a commotion, normally stops then.

transform you are hilarious and I love the pictures. I burst out laughing. Love the one where he is sitting up. Yeah, you're right-cute and cuddly--but does whatever he wants with no regard to anyone else. He is a cat and thus in charge of everything you know. He is probably looking at you totally befuddled and thinking-has she no idea who is in charge here??? :)

Hopefully his kitty clock has been reset.

Most of my cats were indoor/outdoor until Scout was shot by a pellet gun and died at my vet's.

It's been an adjustment converting to indoor only, with Riley being the biggest challenge.

First he lost his best buddy Mister Kister earlier this year (my 15 year old FIV+ cat whose health finally declined).

Then he can't go outside anymore. Those are two huge adjustments for him.

My biggest challenge has been watching doors anytime I need to go in or out as he's usually nearby, and I have to catch him.

He also 'talks' a lot, which he never used to do.

So, I talk back to him, give him some extra loving, and then get back to what I was doing at the time.

It's no big deal unless I make it so.

I am laughing at this whole thread.
My parents have a cat and dog. Both nuts.
The dog hates everyone except my parents and the cat and dog spar all day for kicks.
They both can open the door!
The cat just walks around the house until he finds an open window. Runs and hides when you try to kick him out. He is indoor/outdoor. He sleeps in a kennel! They give him a hotwaterbottle when cold. In the evening at bedtime, when my father comes in to put them to bed, the cat takes off under the couch. If he is outside, he just runs away. We all think this is hilarious except my father! He has learned to pull back the one way flap-door and somehow climbs over the block in front of the door. He is often out and gone in the morning. He likes to present all his "kills" to my mother on the front step for approval!!! They are perfect for my parents who are also nuts. The dog and cat walk down the drive with my father one on either side. The dog pulls him off the couch for his walk. This is funny as she is perfectly free to walk all she wants as she is never leashed.
How about just leaving the cat loose? Let him in when he calls. Get a cat-flap?

This is a funny thread. So frighteningly true, the similarities between cats and alcoholics.

I'm such a cat person. :duh:

I bet once the stress of moving, and working through AH drama, etc. winds down a little you won't be quite so flustered with him either. After I had my twins I was so overwhelmed, so busy, that my best cat ever that I had for well over a decade and never did anything wrong - my poor guy. His very meowing and presence ticked me off. One more thing to take care of. Sit on me - are you flipp'n out off your gourd cat? I have two babies hanging of my chest 22 out of 24 hours in the day. I do not need to scratch your ears the other two.

But it all worked out and I loved him up once again. He no longer annoyed me.

My cat's name is Sammy and his motto can be summed up in 4 letters, DDCR. Not all humans will agree with that, but stop and think about it, dogs do drool, and where do you usually see the fine feline sleeping, verses where the dog sleeps! Sammy thinks he's right, dogs drool and cats rule, and that's final!

A humorous video about "dogs drool and cats rules".

About That Whole "Cats Rule, Dogs Drool" Thing... (Wizbang)

Hugs, Transform. Dr. Snuggs is adorable and he does look incredibly snuggly. :)

He reminds of the stray tom cat we adopted when we were little kids - much to my Mom's dismay. He kept hanging out on our deck which was like 2 and a half stories off the ground on one side of the house. When he decided it was time to leave, he didn't go back down the stairs at the front. Nope. He took a flying leap off the back deck to climb down a tree that was actually quite far from the deck. We loved him and believed he could fly. :supernan I think he did too, but he still lived to a ripe old age. He would put up with our snuggles in exchange for food, but I really think he kept coming home for the deck and tree. :)

OK transform I just cannot stop laughing when I see that picture of Dr. Snuggs sitting up. I am practically crying I am laughing so hard. I may have to make a copy of it and put it on my desktop so anytime xah pisses me off I can just look at Dr. Snuggs and burst out laughing and forget all about xah.

Laughter really is the best medicine. OK, I still cannot stop laughing and people around me are giving me looks at work. I'm stuck in a laughing jag!! Help!!! Better go do some work!

I have big orange male cats as well. I think they're awesome. Cats with all orange coats seem to be a little more "feral" than their orange and white cousins. Cat's coat colors seem to be linked to behaviors in some way. When I did shelter medicine in a big city, we had a lot of black cats because black cats seem to thrive in crowded urban environments better. When I visited a more rural shelter, there were more orange cats as they seem to do very well as solitary outdoor hunters. There have been a few studies in this area that show some merit. I have no idea why it's this way, but I think it's quite fascinating.

I won't comment on specific behavior issues as I am assuming that to the moderators here that it would be exactly like a physician coming on and giving an alcoholic or addict medical advice. Plus, the original poster specifically stated that she was merely venting and not seeking our expertise.

A visit to the vet might not be a bad idea though. There is a wide variety of behavior modification methods for cats - anything from straight up training, to pharmaceuticals, to pheromone therapy. I work with a lot of problem cats and I will often use all three. There's no reason to allow your pet to disrupt your life like that, especially when there are so many things that can be done to help repair the relationship.

I think I'm okay straightening out the terminology for sterilization, since I noticed there is some confusion:

All feline (and canine) sterilization procedures are referred to under the overall umbrella of "neutering" or "sterilization". Neutering is the more common term. Animals that have not had been sterilized are referred to as "intact".

Of the two types of neuter surgeries there is the "spay" surgery for females, which is a complete ovariohysterectomy. The ovaries, tubes, and uterus are removed; the cervix and vagina remain. Males are "castrated" and this is the removal both testes and ligation (tying off) of associated structures. There are no surgeries that leave the reproductive organs in place (vasectomies for males or tubal ligations for females) like there are in human medicine. Animal neuters are always complete and irreversible.

For Tally - I'm a little confused by your situation. If you had a male cat that was castrated, there are no testicles for "tubes" to reconnect to (and I don't know how one would know the tubes had done so if there were). If you had a female cat that was spayed and you found her pregnant or in heat (the only way you could tell if a female is intact), then that means she still had her reproductive organs.

Either way, for a neuter surgery to "fail" like that and require a second try means that it wasn't done at all the first time. You may want to talk to your veterinarian. Someone might have classified this cat's reproductive status incorrectly for you, or you may have paid for a surgery that wasn't done.

Good luck with your kitty transformyself.

I should take him to the vet, you're right. That'll REALLY **** him off...

but I noticed the same thing-behaviors and "personalities," sure seem to be tied into coats and markings. Fascinating. Thanks doc!

It must be time for some shots. Maybe he is sick and needs his temperature taken. :a115:

Put him on cat chow and water. No more whiska's till he shapes up. If he yowls all night again try threatening him - with long verbose rantings - with another stay in solitary at the other house.

Oh....is that codie or controlling? Dang it.

I have been thinking about rescuing an outdoor 'orange' cat from my xah's house before the snow flies OMG. :a108: