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-   -   I Am Letting Him Go (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/205381-i-am-letting-him-go.html)

PurpleWilder 07-19-2010 06:02 AM

I Am Letting Him Go
 
Here is the letter I sent this morning via email, after defriending from Facebook the man who, for 17 years, I considered my soulmate. But I'm done.

I'm realy glad things are working out for you. It sounds like you and Jill are getting back together and that's good.

Despite that, I have come to the decision that it would be best for me if we did not remain in contact. I'm pretty sure the only reason you contacted me again after all of this time was sort of a cyberspace drunk-and-dial---you were feeling low and needed an ego stroke. But it looks like things are working out for you so I know I serve no purpose to you. You only really contact me when you are about to do something scary (move to LA, break up, get married, whatever) and need a boost. I don't associate with people like that anymore and don't get involved in one-sided relationships any longer.

We are not friends. I have been hoping that in the last few weeks we could really sit down at the computer and get rid of some of the baggage that maybe we have both been carrying around for a long time. At least I have. But you and I both know you are never gonna do it. When things get emotionally tough, you bail. I'm not interested in trying to maintain a relationship - friendly, romantic or otherwise - with an emotional coward. I think 17 years of not getting anything I want from you - an apology, an explaination, anything - are enough for me...finally.

My life is getting to a good place, and I don't need you in it anymore. Not for real and not in my head.

God bless and good luck. I think you will need both.

Christi


:c011: :c011: :c011:

To SR folks - and yes, I will be changing my name here, as soon as I figure out what I should change it to.

suki44883 07-19-2010 06:37 AM

Good for you. You got to say what you needed to say. Now, I hope you have blocked his email so you won't be tempted to read the quack, quack, quacking that is sure to follow.

PurpleWilder 07-19-2010 06:48 AM

There will be no quacking, I'm sure. He only needs me when he is feeling bad and he is getting back together with his ex-fiance. He was never an alkie and is not the XH I chat about here. He is the guy I was with before my XH.

I have no use for him now. That hurts to be sure, but I am better off in the long run. I am gonna be a wreck for a while, but it will get better. Then I can move on in my life to a man who can appreciate a goodhearted, polite, smart, funny, kind, sexy woman who, like everyone else, just struggles to make sense of it all. I really hope he is out there. But unless I make a room for him in my heart and head, I wouldn't matter if I found him anyway.

So I am making a room. And I am gonna try to make it the most beautiful room that I can.

nodaybut2day 07-19-2010 07:28 AM

Getting rid of soul-sucking emotional vampires is *always* so liberating. Congratulations on making all that room :)

Kittyboo 07-19-2010 07:48 AM

Omg, I could have written that exact same letter to mine!!!!!!!!!
Good for you!:grouphug:

ChrrisT 07-19-2010 08:47 AM

That's some good venting!! I feel good just reading it.

17 years is a loooong time, do not waste another minute thinking about... what were we talking about :)

Do something you love - for yourself. :You_Rock_

ChrrisT

ChrrisT 07-19-2010 08:58 AM

Maybe think about changing your member name.

Good way to start decorating that beautiful room of yours :bday8:bday8

ChrrisT

HoopNinja 07-19-2010 10:16 AM


Originally Posted by nodaybut2day (Post 2655668)
Getting rid of soul-sucking emotional vampires is *always* so liberating.

My friends do not refer to stbxah by his name--they call him MEV (monetary and emotional vampire) so I laughed when I saw this.

I have one of these people in my life who found me on facebook who wanted to strike up a possible friendship. What he did the last time we talked about 15 years ago was E-V-I-L. I could not believe he even tried.

Good for you for sweeping the dirt out of your beautiful room. I think ChrrisT is right--maybe time for a new name.

TakingCharge999 07-19-2010 10:43 AM

Congratulations DirtMagnet. Yes it always sucks right afterwards but things get better. I am glad you got tired of all that. Keep moving forward !

Hammerhead 07-19-2010 11:05 AM


Originally Posted by anvilhead (Post 2655767)
ONE whole unmatchable SOUL

BTW... DM.... Great NEW name suggestion :)

ItsmeAlice 07-19-2010 02:50 PM

unmatchable SOUL

BTW... DM.... Great NEW name suggestion

I agree!!

Congrats DM!! Sometimes these feelings have to be purged from you at the feet of the one who's caused the hurt. It's not pretty and it's not the highest road to take, but when faced with the opportunity to get it out and move on, you take it.

You are now free. Now if you find your thoughts drifting back to him, get busy doing something else, and fast.

Best wishes to you :)

Alice

lulu1974 07-19-2010 03:25 PM

Wow pretty dirtmagnet. So well said! Good for you. It seems from this letter you have done a lot of soul searching and a lot of realization. That takes courage my friend. Good things will surely be coming your way. Way to weed that garden of yours!
Hugs
Lulu

coyote21 07-19-2010 03:42 PM


Originally Posted by DirtMagnet (Post 2655609)

:c011: :c011:

To SR folks - and yes, I will be changing my name here, as soon as I figure out what I should change it to.

Yesyesyes!

And I would like to vote for unmatchable SOUL as well. :scoregood



Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote


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