This sounds so familiar to me, hanging on and it being recent. God gave me my freedom, I know it. It is not easy, if it was I would have been gone long, long ago. I was with my XAGF for two years and new her for over 20. We were always best friends and never dated, until two years ago. I wish I had listened to our other friends and left her alone. Fortunately we never did marry, we talked about it but didn't. She has three kids who she does not have custody of because of her addiction. I felt very sorry for the kids and I would have taken them myself. They are YOURS, they NEED YOU, he left and I would run. I have very fresh pain from my X, but it can be done.

Please let us know how you're doing, honey. (((Hugs))) Thinking of you!