Got a call from my son
 

He asked me to take him to another town to see his attorney after work. Should I go in while, he's talking with his lawyer? I know the lawyer he's in AA. I didn't know if it would help or just stay out of it altogether???

He's 21 hes paying for his attorney fee himself. I was going to ask my son if, he wanted me to go in.

i made a point a while back to tell his lawyer after an AA meeting to have AA included in with his sentence. I know I shouldn't have but, I pray, if he goes to enough meetings something will sink in that thick skull of his.

The lawyer should disallow it to preserve the attorney-client privilege. Otherwise, if he admits anything in front of you, it would be admissible in court. The attorney also has an obligation to his client only. If your son doesn't want to go to AA, the attorney has to fight against that.

And aside from that, I'd stay out of it. You know that being forced to go to AA won't do anything to help him get sober if he doesn't want it for himself.

I can tell you from my own experience that any nudges or 'help' that I tried to manipulate the situation with when it came to my AD always backfired on me.

I hope you really dig into Alanon, and get the focus back on yourself.

praying for you and your son -

comfort for you as you watch your son walk his own path, strength to let him go and Let his Higher Power work in his life and the courage to take care of you as this happens

for your son to have an open heart and mind - to hear what HE needs to hear, when he needs to hear it

try to remember whether you are in the room with your son & the atty or not - God's in control and you will find out what you need to know when you need to know it!!

HUGS,
Rita

I vote for "just stay out of it altogether."

I was sitting out in the hall with my son when, my son's lawyer showed up. He had us go back into his office. His lawyer and I go back 10 years we got sober at the same time.


The lawyer didn't pull any punches at the trouble he was in.

I'll be going to Al Anon Thursday night while, my son is in the other room for AA.

I've kept my cool and haven't been yelling at him over this. Big concern now is to stop him from getting a felony over this.

Lot of things going around in my brain right now

That's the lawyer's job, not the dad's. ;)

L

grrr

"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation--some fact of my life--unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; until I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in my and in my attitudes."

Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st edition

hugs

I have to agree 100% with this. Step back, dad. :grouphug:

I think I will never forget a young man that I met - oh, about 12 years ago, at an AA meeting. This guy was about 19 years old. He spoke. He said "The worst thing my parents ever did, was to get in the way of my consequences."
I'll never forget it.