Keep Pedaling...

I don't have much to add; so much has been said here. But I love this thread. Sorry it surfaced due to your circumstances, but I have to say, I don't think you realize how wise you are! (or maybe you do) :)

LETTING GO TAKES LOVE

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more
and
To let go and to let God, is to find peace !
Remember: The time to love is short

so did 98% of us here. and we aren't stupid. it's just the nature of it.

be gentle with yourself.

Thanks so much for your story! The voice inside you was telling you to run... and it's usually right. I sometimes go nuts trying to rationalize my AH's crazy-making ******, only to remember he's not rational. It just doesn't work.

He sounds selfish enough to be able to get himself taken care of one way or another... don't worry about him. There are billions of people on the planet who want to treat you with the respect and interest you deserve. You can start with you! Good luck!

Thanks Dodecaphonic. Today I've gone from a total melt-down (early morning) to super sad, to angry. The angry started happening a few hours ago. He called a few times. I didn't pick up. What he said was so mean. And I feel so stupid. I'm so mad now. I don't think anyone should be treated that way. He was supposed to be my best friend.

He's a liar. He was drinking. He was drinking and being mean.

I've cleaned my condo. I got a few funny movies at the video store that I'm about to watch. I'll probably keep reading through posts off and on tonight. It really helps.

He's wrong. He shouldn't have treated me that way. I really didn't deserve it. Maybe something I did in a past life? Who knows.

Don't feel stupid...AT ALL.

You are so far from stupid. You have offered such great insight in this thread. I'm sorry that he has once again triggered anger in you. I understand that, so well!! I think we all do.

So now, you just have to start over in a sense. You know what he does, and you know what you can do to rise above it. There is nothing wrong with having to start over.

Oh boy, do I know the feeling.

I used to get so angry. I actually got a rare skin reaction that is triggered by stress once that lasted for sixth months..haha. Over time I came to expect disapointment and I actually worked harder and not reacting. We got along better and everything over all would improve as I learned to deal and communicate in a less angry way, but the addiction kept at us. The anger settled, but I was also hoping that if I changed, he would.

Now that I'm trying to go no contact...I am mostly sad that I'm the one sad. And so, so, so mad for wasting my time! I dumped four great ppl for this moron! lol Everytime he'd act like he had it together...So yeah, I have no shame in driving down the freeway and screaming nasty lyrics so obnoxiously it probably scares other drivers. You should try it, it really helps.

I don't know if you're into music..But try something you can relate to and belt it out sista!

But I know, these are only fleeting moments of release...but its a start!!!

Good for you for not answering. Stay strong. He will try to push your button s to make u cave.

Glad you're here. It helps me too.