Quite the ride! we are all so strong and brave to build a better life, or start building one, or even imagine there can, or may be, something different than suffering and dreading life... it is sooo wonderful to feel the power that is yours, back... to see life through your own eyes and realize if it is beautiful it is because you ARE beautiful, that's what YOU got inside.

Side note... I loved you got someone that has your back, was it like that from the start? or was it something that he learned to do along the way? I say it because right now, my partner doesn't have my back at all and I'm wondering if there is hope. :gaah Sorry for the off topic question!

You know -
in the beginning - I didn't understand that he was helping me.
Because I didn't know what that felt like.
In the very beginning, it felt almost intrusive.
Because I was so used to having NO oe around.

But when he stepped in and took up for me a few times -
I was like ... 'kewel."

He's a gentleman.
Got him some ... MANNERS.

And it took some doing ... for me to remember how that worked.

And I WOULD have pm'd this to you but your mailbox is full.
*hint, hint*

Barb, it sounds as if you barely got your toes wet. You are handling it beautifully! :You_Rock_

I still get a lingering fear that the man I see walking down the street is XAH - I almost always have to do a double look just in case! Who knows what these poor men think of it (but I don't care)!! Here's hoping the 120 miles is just too far and too much work for him to find you.

I'm glad you're here posting!

thank you ******{EVERYONE}}}}}:grouphug: