Ives, when you say "Alkies accuse us of everything they are guilty of themselves." you are so spot on!! I can't believe it took me so long to realise this but when I did, everything became so simple! This is when I decided once and for all to never engage in any type of meaningful conversation with him. While before I was hurt and angry at his wrong accusations, I know laugh...
Also, when you say that when your daughter is born, things will be easier, I think you have to be prepared for things to be in fact difficult. From experience, when exAH realised he had no more power to abuse/control me emotionally, he unfortunately used our sons as mere tools to do this job indirectly through them. And let me tell you, that hurts real bad....

I started to reply here yesterday saying essentially that-- it's human nature that the flaws we can't admit to ourselves that we have, are the ones that drive us nuts in other people. Our active alcoholic associates often take it to the extreme of seeing their faults everywhere except in the mirror... that's my impression anyway.

omg this site is opening my eyes so much he does that with me wi11 say things 1ike oh met one of the neighbours today she was hot she asked me to go for a drink with her and of course i rose to the bait what the he11 u mean she asked u for a drink which was actua11y what he wanted the reaction thinking about it now maybe there wasnt any woman maybe there was but he got what he wanted cos up ti11 then i hadnt been showing him much attention was getting on with me then he said oh i wou1d have on1y seen her as a mate and i said with her fe11a and he said not sure she has one fe11 for that one didnt i a1so other week another one im maybe gonna try s1eeping with the socia1 worker to get my kids back WHAT!!! u can imagine how 1oopy that made me he dont even do it with me but even that is him contro11ing isnt it cos he does say u want sex too much (erm once a week) so its his way of shifting the gui1t so he can b1ame me cos he does a11 of that god and i never saw it xxxkia

I totally relate. You're doing the right thing... Detach as best you can and find people that give you positive energy who aren't selling the snake oil nor bs projection of their own problems. If you put up w the bs for too long it's possible to not know which side is up and be a little brain washed. You'll look back; laugh be a little sad and be in a much better place.