Going through a little withdrawal of my own
 

I am no longer counting beer cans, digging through trash cans looking for bottles, searching for receipts. That's the good news. Today I'm having a really hard time with it. It is apparent to me that he has been drinking, and I know it should have no effect on me how much or what, but still I wonder. Is that just part of the codependency need to control? I feel like I'm getting to a place where alcohol in any amount is not welcome in my life. I've got some hard decisions to make, it is good to know I'm not alone.

As your probably noticing, once we stop trying to control our loved ones our life comes into focus and we may not like what we see.

I know when my relationship ended with my last AB it shocked me to learn I was behaving violently. Maybe not to the extreme he had been but I had it in me. Like attracts like eh?

So I've had to find ways to express my anger with out behaving violently - not letting it reach breaking point is a good started for me. Admiting to someone I am angry etc....

I found that as I worked recovery I rethought some of the relationships I had. Some really were toxic for me and the person I am growing to be really didn't want to be around that negativity. Some change was uncomfortable and even hurt a bit. But I'm learning to see the growth that comes from the hurt I experience as I continue to let go.
Hope today is a brighter day.