He's desperate. I have to stay strong.
 

When I left he said I was blowing things out of proportion.

The next day he said that this was all my fault. He wasn't going to make things easy for me.

Today he says please give me another chance. No more alcohol. Period.


Talk about all over the map!

I'm going to say, "I want some space. I'm not trying to rush this decision, but I don't want to live with you right now."
I hate to upset him - part of me wants to sugarcoat the situation and reassure him that I think everything will work out if he gets sober, but I will not allow myself to think/speak in such a way.

So far, he has not wanted sobriety. He has wanted to keep the family that he loves, while continuing to indulge in the alcohol that he loves.
I'm not asking him to move out in order to orchestrate his "bottom" or make him "see the light".

I simply want peace. His choices are up to him. I don't want him to quit for me - I'm trying to leave that adolescent princess fantasy behind.

He can quit if he wants to.
Whether I'm there or not.
He'll try to tell me otherwise, but I'm not buying it.

His sobriety is not my responsibility. Having a clean house and warm dinner and good conversation has not successfully kept him sober, so far - it just makes me feel like I'm getting the raw end of the deal. I give my all - he gives what he can - it's not enough.

Thanks for letting me rant.

-TC

This sounds pretty typical, hang on in there, it might be a bit of a ride

His back is against the wall. His bad.

No reason to sugarcoat or soften his landing as they say.

Your motives seem sound and genuine and based in reality, you're doing this FOR YOU and the CHILDREN.

You are over believeing the "just one more last chance" crap.

You've simply decided enough is enough.....your decision seems very well thought out for all the right reasons. I don't see how you can go wrong.

I believe this is what they mean when they say "your recovery is showing"

Good job and God love ya. I think you will be fine. :Val004:

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Wow TC you actually sound very serene already.
Hang in there--
Paryers for your continued strength--
:praying
B.

I don't think your post was a vent at all--rather an affirmation of a well-thought-out and rational decision; a decision to make a life-changing move for all the right reasons for everyone involved. Well done.

Good for you for not taking the bait. Sad to see this princess story explode again, as is seen all too often. But the end of that story seems to often be peace and happiness. Here's hoping that is your story as well.

Actions. That's all that matters. At one point after our separation, my husband was telling me how bad it was for him, how much he missed the kids, how sorry he was. I was so done with listening to that yet again, I said "I cannot hear your words because your actions are drowning them out."

L

I agree your note doesn't sound like a vent to me at all, just clear concise communication. You've stated your needs clearly and now it's up to him to show where he is at with actions no quacking! Hang in there, we are here for you - K

TC actions in motion! Job well done-Hang in there you are doing great :hug:

Prayers and strength-to you

This is an awesome post!

I am so glad you posted it. You are an inspiration. I am in a similar situation, and your post gave me strength today.

Ditto what Silverberry said!

Thank you for the inspiration

juju

TC- you sound very strong to me. Keep on keeping on. . .