Courage to Change ~ Aug 15 ~ How Important is it? Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/15 After living in the chaos of an alcoholic relationship, it can be hard to know the difference between a minor inconvenience and a major crisis. Al Anon’s Slogan, “How Important is it?” helps many of us to regain some sense of proportion. When plans fall through, when unexpected bills arrive, when I am disappointed in someone’s response, I can ask myself, “how important is it?” Most of the time I find that what I might have viewed as a disaster is really insignificant. If I try to keep my attention on this day instead of worrying about possible future consequences, I can take my disappointment or irritation at face value and refuse to dramatize it. Because of this simple slogan, many days that I would once have seen as tragic are now filed with serenity and confidence. Today’s Reminder Today, if I encounter an upsetting situation, I will ask myself, “How important is it?” before I react. I may find that it is not important enough to sacrifice my serenity. “It is almost as important to know what is not serious as to know what is.” ~~ John Kenneth Galbraith. |
I remember when I spent my days as a whirling dervish- running from here to there, making sure everyone was ok, making sure we were all out of HIS way if he was having a bad day and was going to lash out at whoever was in his path. I felt like I should have a little fire extinguisher attached to me so that I would be prepared to put out whatever little flash fire had popped up. Now, with a program of recovery, I have check points. Instead of instantly reacting to something, I am able to think about it for a minute. I can call a recovery friend, I can ask myself if this situation is mine or is it really someone else's to handle. I can ask myself if I look back on this a year from now will it still be a big dang issue or just a blip? I don't always do it right ... I can still find myself reaching for the fire extinguisher, but fortunately not as often. Most of the time, it's just not that important... Today, if I encounter an upsetting situation, I will ask myself, “How important is it?” before I react. I may find that it is not important enough to sacrifice my serenity. |
Thank you for posting this today. I really needed to hear that. I am really working on not reacting and this is just positive reinforcement. Thanks again, Chris:ghug |
This was timely for me today, because I said no to something today that I did not want to do, and someone I love is angry at me because of it. I am trying to work on my co-de behaviors with everyone and everything in my life. This is not in regards to the a in my life, but my own family. I set up a clear boundary of a responsibility that is not mine. I made it clear months ago, and today someone I love expected me to do it anyway. I did not. I am still feeling bad, wanting their approval and understanding rather than their anger, but I think that even though I feel bad, I would feel worse if I went through with it. I was asking myself this morning "How important is it?" I was called selfish and bad, but I don't think so. I think it was important that I set this boundary so that if there is a "next time" my position will be clear. |
I am really working on not reacting and this is just positive reinforcement. |
Originally Posted by CatsPajamas
(Post 1871420)
Now, with a program of recovery, I have check points. Instead of instantly reacting to something, I am able to think about it for a minute. I can call a recovery friend, I can ask myself if this situation is mine or is it really someone else's to handle. I can ask myself if I look back on this a year from now will it still be a big dang issue or just a blip? I don't always do it right ... I can still find myself reaching for the fire extinguisher, but fortunately not as often. Most of the time, it's just not that important... |
"How Important Is It" A fellow member in my f2f group says . . . "If it doesn't affect my breathing, it's probably not that important" that sure does help me keep things in perspective great reading - thanks Cats HUGS, Rita |
“how important is it?” This is one of my favorites too because it reminds me to be true to myself and my own beliefs. I remember a time when I didn't even recognize my own wants and needs. Once I get my priorities straight it doesn't matter so much how others react, because I know I'm being true to how my HP is guiding my path. |
I will remember this one. I can over-react sometimes... |
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