you can not wait around for him to get sober.

You have to decide if you want to continue to live like this. I did it for 14 years. Some do it for 30 years, some do it for one year. Some learn to live with it and be happy. I could not and I can't believe it took 14 years for me to realize this.

Is it decision time for you? Counseling/Support Group can really help.

Now we are fighting about it all. I'm a bitch for being upset. It's not that big of a deal he says.
Givelove- No, I don't think I do respect him. He does not respect himself either.
This site is saving my sanity right now.

One of the best questions is do you love, respect, want to be involved with the man you are married to after removing all the past and future hopes expectations for his behavior? Are you happy with where you are? Would you marry this man if you met him as he is now?

Its hard to ignore all the past, the dreams you had/have. But its important to deal in realities rather than fantasies.

If bitch is defined as "a sane person trying to make sense out of an insane situation" then, yes, I suppose you could be described that way.

Remember - he is doing everything he can to keep the status quo so he can keep being irresponsible. He will keep trying different tactics to keep you off balance so he can go whoop it up again. This is not a sinister plot - it is the way alcohol addiction steers those in its grip.

I knew i should leave but was not quite there..I wanted to believe he would change for us. i made up my mind to not make any decisions for 3 months. wrote it on the calander. then I kept a journal to write down the good and bad of each day. after 2 months I knew i had to do something. we tend to forget the bad stuff sometimes, and are so thankful for the good days, when they should all be good days!! when i looked back and read my journal i knew it was not getting better and never would. You'll know when you are ready it just happens. good Luck! hugs to you!