I'm about ready to end it...
 

Tonight is the last straw. Won't even go into what happened..... If she doesn't go to the Dr. and get on antiabuse and stop drinking, it's over.... By the time she sees this it may be already over. I've finally had enough. It's taken me 1 year and nearly 2 months to see that I don't want to live like this for the rest of my life. I truly think that alcoholics are very selfish people. They hurt so many other people other than themselves. They know it and refuse to change.

Sorry its gotten so bad for you. {hugs}

Yes indeed, the As in our lives can be exceptionally selfish and blind to everything around them.

I don't understand the wicked side to the them. It's like they're possessed by the devil. Truly Jekyl and Hyde personality. Even bad enough to blame their own kids for their drinking problem. That is beyond me to understand.

Are you about ready to end it? Or are you ready to end it? Those are two different things.

It is beyond understanding because you are rational. Logic does not apply to the alcoholic.

So, what are you ready to do for yourself?

I'm ready to stop living an insane life. You just have to have the courage to walk away because it will hurt and there will be a void for awhile, but its truly up to the other person to stop drinking. I caved in and this time I won't.

Walking away hurt less than living with an alcoholic.

I agree with Former Doormat. Walking away was painful, but at least I knew the pain would end.

Yup, it hurts to walk away from the madness and drama. But I can tell you from personal experience that the peace becomes evident almost immediately. And it feels good.

I still haven't walked away and she's getting increasingly violent. Nearly hit us with a car 2 weeks ago and today hit me in the face with a heavy remote control. Claimed it was an accident of course..... I just gave her the ultimatum. One more drink and it's over.

sad (and i hope this doesn't offend you), but you've come to this site for almost a year, each time saying how horrible it is and how you're planning to leave or how "one more time and it's over." what will it take to make you understand that things aren't going to change unless you're the one to change them? if nothing has changed thus far, i don't see it changing anytime soon, no matter how much you threaten or beg.

when will you begin to see that no one deserves this? if she hasn't been willing to change and things have only gotten worse throughout the past year, take pride in yourself and show how much you value your life by taking a step back and see what's worked so far and what hasn't.

sad #3's aw
 

It's already over. My husband came home with herpes, but they don't publish that in the brochure, do they?

When/If you leave, there's a stage I experienced inbetween. After extreme chaos, it seems alien and maybe boring. It's like there's a monstrous void in there, even though you're at peace. Maybe it's chaos withdrawal! Then you get used to the peace, start rebuilding, and you realize that you LIKE the peace. In fact, when friends of my XABF would call with the occasional update, I would feel my anxiety level rise, and the stress backaches threaten. Then the calls were gone, and I really find peace.

Good luck to you ... I know it's an awful decision, and if you put your foot down, maybe the decision will be made for you. But trust me, once you experience the peace, I hope you'll crave it more than the chaos.

I'm confused Sad...



Is there more than 1 person you're having issues with?

Hi ICU
I think that sad's wife posted the last entry

sad #3's aw

In that case, you'd better start packing. Good luck to you.

No. She saw my post and got on here and posted that. Just more of her insane bullcrap. I don't know that I have herpes and if I do, I could have easily gotten it from her because I haven't slept with another person since I met her which she doesn't believe... Probably because of her own guilt. I've caught her visiting old boyfriends and lying about it. Saying it was only a friendly visit, etc.

She refuses to admit that her alcoholism is a big problem. When her daughter was here, she called her dad to come get her because her mother was constantly drunk in front of her... She then became beliigerent with her daughter, calling her all kind of vile names. That's just the beginning of that night.

So I just wanted to share a quote from a post that was on the newcomers to recovery (for alcoholism).
Quote:
......when and how much to give.......That often makes the difference between failure and success.......the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this and that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: job or not job---wife of no wife---we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence upon God.
Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.

Big Book of AA.

Trusting God can be difficult for the alcoholic. Again, their thinking is that Drinking is easy, life is hard.

Trusting God can be difficult for the spouse of the alcoholic as well. The truth is that you need a safe place (without remote controls that accidentally go in your direction or careless words that are hurtful), you need to be around people who are safe and who know how to love you.