I understand your frustration Sad#3. It is so hard to make that final decision to leave. I have threatened so many times as well. I worry that if I do go, he will get even worse. I know I cannot control his drinking and self abuse, but we did take a vow for better or for worse, but just how worse are we supposed to go. For me it's baby steps. Good luck to you and I hope you find your way as well. We all deserve to be happy and to live the life we dream of.

#3,
We have similar stories. I've gone from one night in a motel to an actual, live separation over a five year+ period. My thinking has gone from 'we can fix this, we just need more effort!' to not accepting or listening to any craziness or BS. Life is too short to waste living in what I call an 'upside down' homelife.

Other than breaking a law, I don't think there is a wrong way or reason to leave. Good luck.

Sad....

I can only tell you that now that I have left, I have peace. I wish you peace. Hang in there.