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Grace, sometimes it takes seeing the situation again to remember why we're not in it! I'm glad you are feeling a little better. You're right....the lows will come and go. I've been on a high for so long, and I'm kind of back in a low. I know it too will go away. We just need to give it time.
Originally Posted by mallow "Please don't go". "Please let me come home". "I can't make it without you". We hear, "I love you", in those statements. |
Originally Posted by mallowcup
(Post 1309805)
That's probably the part they "loved" about us. In their lives, we are the face of normalcy, stability and "my alcohol doesnt' show". They had us to cover it up 24/7. Oops, when we're gone they notice that their slip is showing. They look for a replacement fast. It seems they either hook up with a bar girl and think it's some kind of destiny they met, or they tell their version of a sob story to someone just like us. They don't love, they need and call it love when they meet someone willing. This woman isn't special to him, she is just available. What hurts is to be replaced so fast. Even though we look back at those things they said that we thought were loving, they weren't, we just needed them to be. If you think back to the things he said to you, I think you may realize now that they were pleas for you to meet his needs. "Please don't go". "Please let me come home". "I can't make it without you". We hear, "I love you", in those statements. I guess as we look back we realize that what was really said was this, " I need for you to make me the center of your universe, to sweep up after me, settle for nothing, sit alone, live in poverty and bail me out, forgive the cheating, the money spending, the pee and vomit, cover for me, pick me up....please!" When they have totally spent a person, they move on. They aren't selective. |
I know I shouldn't prolly say this, but by the time I was done reading about your visit there, and sweeping the porch, I sure wished you HAD taken the batteries! I feel so bad for your pain. The loss of what you had hoped for.....and thinking the new girl has something you wanted. ONLY THINGS........ |
I feel for you... mine right now is living with us-my son and me-yet girls are calling him all the time...he doesn't care..they never do |
When you think of him.........paste Pathetic on his forehead. Earthworm |
I do, and I will continue to, see him as sick and pathetic. A part of me feels sorry for him, sorrier for the new girlfriend, and sorriest for our dogs. Honestly, they are the poor innocent victims. Just like the children we bring into these relationships. Wasn't it Karen Carpenter who sang, Bless the Beasts and the Children? I'm showing my age here, but I thought about that song last night. It is true? They have no voice....they have no choice! On a lighter note.........I did not steal the batteries from his remote, AND I did give him back some of the clothespins. According to HolyQow, my new Indian name should be...."Runs With Clothespins". Now we can add batteries to that. Perhaps I should seek professional counseling for my stealing problems. Have a good one! Grace |
On the other hand......what fun to take all the clothespins, batteries, lightbulbs, shower curtain, spool to the toilet paper holder, shower head, mailbox, take all the top sheets and leave him all fitted, leave him the curtains but you take the rods, if he gets the vaccuum, you get all the bags and belts, if you take all the clothspins, you can leave him a basket of mangled wire hangers to seperate, take all small bowls and leave him the big mixing bowls, I could go on and on but I'd see how domestic the new gal is. That isnt' mean, it's amusing. |
Someone I know even took the light fixtures off the walls when she left. Earthworm |
just keep in mind his real love is nothing more than a bottle. he is just using others to maintain his love with his bottle. |
Originally Posted by mallowcup
(Post 1309805)
I guess as we look back we realize that what was really said was this, " I need for you to make me the center of your universe, to sweep up after me, settle for nothing, sit alone, live in poverty and bail me out, forgive the cheating, the money spending, the pee and vomit, cover for me, pick me up....please!" When they have totally spent a person, they move on. They aren't selective. Ever read hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy? I wonder if the babel fish would've worked on my x... |
I also think in their manipulative minds, when we put our foot down, set a boundary and stick to it, they make us pay for it. They know the blow they deliver and it hurts but good. Here's the bad news, it hurts till it stops hurting and when it does, he has NO power in your life. He may have hooked up with this woman so fast to hurt you or to create a spirit of competion so you beg him back and get to be the winner. As the clock ticks, he must be nervous, you are supposed to be begging him back by now. |
Originally Posted by mallowcup
(Post 1311610)
As the clock ticks, he must be nervous, you are supposed to be begging him back by now. |
Originally Posted by mallowcup
(Post 1311610)
As the clock ticks, he must be nervous, you are supposed to be begging him back by now. Like a buddy of mine said, though, I didn't follow the script. Al-Anon, therapy, etc. had helped me write a new one. |
I agree with all of you! He played this game the last time that we split up. Tried to make me jealous with other women, by using my sister. My sister and brother-in-law are still, and always will be, his drinking buddies. My sister kept calling me and informing me about this girl and that girl. It hurt even moreso because she is my sister, but she is an addict too. She was here yesterday starting the mindgames all over again. I'm not playing them this time. Just as you said, cagefree, I win by quitting the game! I have turned in my playing piece. Thanks SR friends for being my lifeline. Grace |
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