(((silentrun)))

My best hopes for you and your daughter. :hug:

Well said LBrain. The past is the past, and I'm grateful its unchangeable. Weirdly, it provides foundational stability to move forward. For me, this has always been essential to create and nourish my boundaries so as to avoid as best I can what has already happened from repeating in any kind of variation.

Yeah, going home would be so awesome! Looks like this week is out though. Mid-week coming is now being penciled in. I'm okay with the precautions. They really want to eradicate any chance of my chest infection returning. I'm getting chest x-rays every morning. The sooner they can make such a determination the sooner they can begin chemo. Works for me!

Ah, good luck with the ongoing prodding and poking RR. Mrs LBrain is getting "pinned" this afternoon and formally reciting the nursing pledge. She just finished her RN program - it was brutal. Next step is passing the cert exam and finding a job. She is going to be one of the 'nice' nurses for sure.

It's all good Rob. This is what I got sober for. Her symptoms started around age 14 and by 16 she was starting to use alcohol. She got picked up by the cops drunk at 16 and the very next morning I heard a voice inside my head saying "this is were it all falls apart." On some level I had seen this before and I knew I needed to get back to my life ASAP. If having to go through what I did served no other purpose than to impress upon me I need to get to the bottom of this for my kid I guess it was worth it.
Are you getting any sleep? Usually the staff is coming in and waking people up doing their thing. It's hard to get a decent stretch of sleep in a hospital.

Evening Robby & Melissa hope today has been nice

I forgot to mention i had a Dr apt 2 days ago & it was meeting my new Dr for
the first time as my old Dr left, anyway she was a sweet young kind Dr i explained my ongoing infection alopecia & alcoholism i went on a bit

i said i wanted to tell you so were on the same page i said your my new Dr she replied im not im temporary.....er what ? LOL thanks for telling me LOL we both laughed and i could tell by accent she was canadian so i said what part she said Vancouver so we done a high 5 for canada

Canadians are awesome & so are you Robby & Melissa

You're awesome silentrun for doing the responsible before all else. :hug:

Yeah, you are so right. My first week here I was woken up almost by the hour. Now, they'll let me go 3 to 4 hours, lol. And although I'm ready to pay for private, the best I can get is semi-private. So, when they wake up the other guy they wake me up too!! It's okay... :)

But yeah, I'm tired today. Taking it as easy as possible chilling back with Melissa.

Awesome!!

:scoregood

That is too funny soberwolf! The doctors here work in teams and they are also learning their residence qualifications, and so I've been asked I don't know how many times the same questions, lol. It's settled down now, but that first week, was like, WOW. :)

Hope you meet up with your new doctor asap and things go good for you.

Hey, (((soberwolf)))

:You_Rock_

Hospitals suck...hate them. I had csections with both my kids and signed myself out the next day against doctors orders because they make me so crazy. I know you don't have that luxury but just want to say you still have an amazing attitude about it all. :)

Goodnight, Robby, Melissa and all.

Sweet dreams.

Ah Robby, ah Melissa, ah everyone.

Hugs all around? :grouphug:

do they keep asking you your birthdate a million times a day, too, Robby? cause you're so interchangeable and might be so easily mistaken for someone else ? :)

LBrain, smarten up: we don't have an accent!

Actually, they do ask if they can't scan my bracelet and its for some procedure or whatever. I haven't lied to them yet. :)

I'm discovering some of my high interests in life are not as trending as they were even several weeks ago. I have online subs to journals and such which I had followed almost daily. Now, when I pick up where I left off, it seems childish. Same with some unread books I have. Its not that I'm in angst about it, its more like I'm just disinterested in what was. Like, it won't matter, so you know, why get dramatic? Its funny.

As I heal up, its more difficult to stay a patient in hospital. Leaving out his personal details, the elderly man in the bed beside me is suddenly terminally ill. He lives in a retirement home. His medical coverage is in question for his level of required care. His options are being reviewed. They have him on morphine. Poor guy. So much happening all at once. He has enough doctors and such its really confusing just to watch it all happen. He's a nice enough guy too. They want him comfortable of course. So does he want to be comfortable.

So, yeah. It gets me to thinking about my own circumstances. It's surreal. I can afford to die at home and as comfortable as can be. Over the last few days I've thought about pain relief a lot. I'm nowhere near hospice care as yet, but still. A guy thinks for himself, yeah?

As a kid, I wondered about heaven. Where do people go when they are not with us? From a kids perspective, it looked to me they went into the ground. I'm thinking about heaven now too. Being agnostic Christian, I'm unconcerned, since I believe exact knowledge of life after death is unproven. As a boy I joked with my friends we would be like astronauts and travel the universe. I wonder still.

I believe I'm much more than just flesh and bone. Its not that I need this to comfort me, death is a natural process of life. It just makes the most sense to me to be open minded when dealing with agnostic knowledge of whatever.

I'd be okay if everything just turns back to stardust too. This just isn't provable either, lol. I do know, whatever the truth will be for me, it is what it will be, and no amount of worry today will change anything about the life after death debate. I'm happy and grateful to be alive today with an open mind to tomorrow.

????????????

have a good night and a good Friday RobRob

Fini, are you from California too? We don't have accents either. Odd, huh?

Robby, I've always thought we must have a spark that continues. I don't think it's just human narcissism or inability to cope with our own mortality. I do believe something goes on, even if it's genetic memory.

I don't want to come back. I hope when I pass, they mark my grave/memorial with a fork. As in done.

Love from LeeLee

PS. I have lots of books on past lives. After life, etc. it's been interesting to me for years. I like Ruth Montgomery, Ray Moody. Brad Steiger....Edgar Cayce was interesting.

Oh and I read a new one recently about children recalling past lives. "return to life". It's interesting.

Just watched the Dateline story about Tom Brokaw's diagnosis of cancer. I loved how he handled it with dignity just like someone we know.
Very inspiring,
Puffy

How you doing, little Puffy? All is well, I hope?

Love from Lenina

Robby, I am also agnostic and have been in my whole life. A very curious agnostic :) Means, I've had an interest in spiritual experiences as far as I remember, although it's varied a lot how much time and effort I invested into exploring such things... I did most of it in my teens and 20's. I very rarely drank during my 20's and that was, strangely, probably the most addiction-free period of my life next to my recent sobriety... but sometimes I was quite obsessed with these more abstract and intellectual investigations. So there was for me periods of Christianity, all kinds of far Eastern spiritual systems (Buddhism had become a more solid interest from all), shamanism, brief stints with many different esoteric things, and neuroscience started also that way, via my curiosity about consciousness initially. I'm still interested in these things although in recent years I have not put any real effort into exploring the more "mystical" parts, but I can see another "period" coming up maybe. Not yet sure about the actual topic, or question, yet :)

I personally never had much belief or faith in anything... much more this boundless curiosity, which I like because it comes with an open mind, ready to explore pretty much anything that piqued my interest. For me, it's not truly comfort or belonging that I seek with it... it's driven much more by an awe with the Universe (all that is), possibilities, and also the unimaginable that I like to picture at least in my mind. The questions about Reality -- both in scientific ways and what our minds are capable to create. Many curious minds get jaded and cynical about such investigations over time, but I somehow have not (only in my wost drunken times).

I also think about all this the way you described: whatever is beyond the currently perceivable part of Reality for me, or if there isn't anything, whatever, it's okay with me. I really don't see what could ever "kill" my wanderlust though... I often thought perhaps old age and dementia, but seeing my father now... I think he just has a different kind of it. Active alcoholism was definitely the most effective distraction or destroyer or this curiosity for me, at least in the last, most severe stage I experienced.

Have another great day, all.
:grouphug:

Hi Robby have a nice day with Melissa

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