Originally Posted by newlyaddicted
(Post 6861822)
So maybe there has been a growing problem there I haven't been aware of. Whether or not this means you're an "alcoholic" depends how you define the word, but one way might be, if you now realize you have a problem, and you choose to do nothing about it and rationalize it away as "not a big deal after all", and it continues and gets worse, welcome to our world. ;) So you might make a sticky note to look back at this thread in a few months, and see where you are then compared to now. |
Originally Posted by JeffreyAK
(Post 6862072)
I think this is a good takeaway. Drinking enough, often enough, to experience significant withdrawals (major shakes and sweats, can't sleep, balance is off, feel sick, etc.) indicates a problem, one that you now have an opportunity to do something about before it gets worse and you start racking up significant negative consequences. Whether or not this means you're an "alcoholic" depends how you define the word, but one way might be, if you now realize you have a problem, and you choose to do nothing about it and rationalize it away as "not a big deal after all", and it continues and gets worse, welcome to our world. ;) So you might make a sticky note to look back at this thread in a few months, and see where you are then compared to now. |
Originally Posted by HTown
(Post 6862011)
I really struggled with the idea of not drinking. Tried to moderate for years. The trouble is I like to get drunk. I do not want one or 2 drinks or a glass of wine with dinner. I want a bottle or 1.5 with dinner. I got honest with myself. Best thing I ever did. It is so much easier, yes easier, never drinking at all. All the stress, hangovers, guilt, shame, worry, gone, just gone. I don’t miss any of it. Appreciate everyone's comments, and it helps me reflect on things a bit more. |
Originally Posted by Scramm
(Post 6862015)
Agreed. I realize I cannot control the drink once I start. The only way to control it is to abstain. Used to jok about one being too many and 10 not being enough. Ain't so funny anymore |
Originally Posted by Sohard
(Post 6861426)
This is the first comment that is very concerning to me. It is just really hard for me to believe that your drinking was "nothing extreme" at all, but then you had "regular blackouts" all of a sudden when you all of a sudden decided to heavily drink for a month. That must have come from somewhere. Perhaps a growing dependence you hadn't recognized? Please don't get me wrong. I'm not implying you are lying. I am wondering if perhaps you actually were becoming a more extreme drinker with time but not actually realizing it? That is kind of the way alcoholism often goes - it creeps up on you. To go back to my last point. At first, with the shaking, you "didn't think too much of it". That shows a real denial going on that a problem exists. People who wake up shaking generally would be very concerned by such a fact. You weren't. It makes me think your drinking issue is worse that you realize. Denial is a very real thing. [/QUOTE]just want to go back to being normal before all this started. Is it possible? [/QUOTE] I don't want to bum you out, but I doubt you've been drinking like a "normal" person for a very long time. Also, think of it this way: "Before all this started" would actually be BEFORE you ever picked up an alcoholic beverage. THAT actually is a "normal" state. I see why you want to "go back to being normal", but maybe try to reframe in your mind what is actually "normal"? [/QUOTE]Because I would miss having wine with dinner or getting drunk in social situations, since I'm still relatively young, and would prefer to not go through a life of not drinking at all if possible. Thanks for your advice.[/QUOTE] I 100% understand why you'd miss wine with dinner or in social situations. But, as you explained, you are relatively young. From your description, I just don't think you were born to drink (and, from my research, 1/8 people weren't...so you're not alone). I am 42. I lost a good 20 years of my life to this. I just really don't want the same for you. Rather than thinking of it as being stuck with a lifetime ban on drinking, maybe try to think of it as being gifted with a lifetime of freedom. I assure you, you get to the point where you miss it less and less and less. I know you won't love my advice. Obviously feel free to ignore it. But since you asked for advice, I wanted to be honest with you about what I see in your words. I hope this helps.[/QUOTE] Thanks! Appreciate all your advice. You've given me a lot to think about :) |
Originally Posted by HTown
(Post 6862011)
The trouble is I like to get drunk. I do not want one or 2 drinks or a glass of wine with dinner. I want a bottle or 1.5 with dinner. I could be "just fine" drinking 5 glasses of wine over the course of 2 1/2 to 3 hours. Once it got to 1 1/2...ohh boy. |
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. In my 20's I was a binge drinker but it escalated to drinking a magnum of wine per day in my 30's. That's two bottles each day which I believed I had to consume. First time someone said "you don't have to drink today" I was astonished, it never occurred to me. I'm sober 26 years, which to me is a miracle. It's just one day at a time. |
I think of it this way. The fact youve posted this question on here clearly demonstrates there is a problem. My "normal drinking" sister would never dream of looking for this type of site never mind posting on it! Moderation. As lessgravity said: Recent conversation with a friend struggling with booze and some posts here on SR had me really thinking about moderation again. Wanted to post these thoughts in a separate thread, that I posted on another thread, to remind myself when my Beast starts trying to convince me again that moderation is a good idea: 1. NORMAL drinkers don't even know what the concept is! Think about it. Only addicts need to "moderate". My wife leaves a half glass of wine on the restaurant table all the time - to her the idea of moderating maybe means not having a few scoops of ice cream here and there. Moderating your alcohol intake? Pure addict thinking. 2. There is No Such Thing as Moderation. It’s as simple as that. It’s our Santa Claus. It’s trying to still wear that vintage t-shirt from high school you looked so good in – it doesn’t fit anymore homie. It’s perpetual dissatisfaction (as if it works!). It’s like trying to eat cake through a straw. It’s a lie our beasts insist on perpetuating – the tiniest glimmer of hope that, yes, we can drink again someday! Like the rest of them! Deeply understanding and accepting that moderation is a fool’s errand, a myth, an addict’s falsest hope – seems to me to be one of the most crucial pieces of this sober puzzle. Moderation is about as attainable as a pet unicorn. All the best. |
Ive put the piece:c011: about my pet unicorn on another thread. Seriously Soberista - nice piece of writing. Dave 🤠 |
Originally Posted by daveglass1
(Post 6862870)
Ive put the piece:c011: about my pet unicorn on another thread. Seriously Soberista - nice piece of writing. Dave 🤠 |
Then youve done that although I cant find gravity's input into this one on my phone - no worries Dave 🤠 |
unThis thread reminded me of something I said jokingly for years, looking back its not such a joke anymore.. My catch phrase was always this.. " I don't have a drinking problem, it's more like a stopping problem. " It really made so sense at all, I have been a daily drinker for almost 22 years. The symptoms described in the original post are something I didn't start to experience until the last 8 months or sother, we'll the shakes anyway. The terrible hangovers and anxiety have been around for some time now. In short, it was the shakes that forced me to climb up on the wagon, just hope I can hold onto my seat! |
Originally Posted by soberista
(Post 6862828)
I think of it this way. The fact youve posted this question on here clearly demonstrates there is a problem. My "normal drinking" sister would never dream of looking for this type of site never mind posting on it! Moderation. As lessgravity said: Recent conversation with a friend struggling with booze and some posts here on SR had me really thinking about moderation again. Wanted to post these thoughts in a separate thread, that I posted on another thread, to remind myself when my Beast starts trying to convince me again that moderation is a good idea: 1. NORMAL drinkers don't even know what the concept is! Think about it. Only addicts need to "moderate". My wife leaves a half glass of wine on the restaurant table all the time - to her the idea of moderating maybe means not having a few scoops of ice cream here and there. Moderating your alcohol intake? Pure addict thinking. 2. There is No Such Thing as Moderation. It’s as simple as that. It’s our Santa Claus. It’s trying to still wear that vintage t-shirt from high school you looked so good in – it doesn’t fit anymore homie. It’s perpetual dissatisfaction (as if it works!). It’s like trying to eat cake through a straw. It’s a lie our beasts insist on perpetuating – the tiniest glimmer of hope that, yes, we can drink again someday! Like the rest of them! Deeply understanding and accepting that moderation is a fool’s errand, a myth, an addict’s falsest hope – seems to me to be one of the most crucial pieces of this sober puzzle. Moderation is about as attainable as a pet unicorn. All the best. |
I'm an Aussie too. If you're like me you surrounded yourself, consciously or not, with people who drank like you did. When I quit I was amazed at the people who nursed one drink all night or don't drink at all. D |
Originally Posted by Dee74
(Post 6863093)
I'm an Aussie too. If you're like me you surrounded yourself, consciously or not, with people who drank like you did. When I quit I was amazed at the people who nursed one drink all night or don't drink at all. D |
17 days sober after drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and more at weekends. tried to stop 3 times before and lasted a month or 2. One thing for certain is that the addiction has continued to worsen slowly but surely . This time I am certain is my last chance before bringing trouble on myself and my family. |
Originally Posted by matt
(Post 6865741)
17 days sober after drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and more at weekends. tried to stop 3 times before and lasted a month or 2. One thing for certain is that the addiction has continued to worsen slowly but surely . This time I am certain is my last chance before bringing trouble on myself and my family. |
If you think that you are going to be deprived if you never drink you will probably find it difficult to find permanent abstinence. Perhaps read Allen Carr’s book about alcohol and see if it changes your mind about what alcohol really is. I don’t feel deprived at all. I’m thrilled I never have to drink that muck again! |
Originally Posted by newlyaddicted
(Post 6861149)
Can I go back to drinking socially again, or in moderation without going through withdrawals? |
Hi NA - welcome to SR and thanks for posting. I hope that you don't mind me giving you my personal opinion - quite a few of your posts have most definitely rung alarm bells very loudly for me. The good people here have covered 99% of the clanging but the one that really jumped out for me; I've had a chronic illness last few years which has kinda kept me from drinking at all. And when I think about it, shortly before starting again once I got better, I ended up here rather quickly. Just a taste for getting drunk again I guess made me do it more often To me, this implies that you hit the drink again heavily as soon as you felt safe to do so. Then hammered it to the point of shaking, sweats and high blood pressure/heart rate. This worries me greatly because that's exactly what I would have done and I am a recovering alcoholic. You may decide that you wish to take up "normal" drinking again. But before you do I would advise that you have a good long think before you poke that hornets nest as the fact that you approached SR also suggests to me that you already have your answer - you're just not very comfortable with it. Take care and I wish you health and happiness. Yix |
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