another day 1
 

Haven't posted since July and i realize that i need to keep coming back and posting. Constant reminders to get back on the path and stay there .
There is an AA group that i used to go, i will look up other groups as well.

Back to basics. no more skipping breakfast. increase the exercise. lose the smokes. veggies veggies veggies fiber fiber fiber water water water.

One of the other items - as i get older there are fewer and fewer people to talk to and hang out with but i've found one place that has some regulars - the driving range. a couple of regular retirees, an instructor or two come and go, the guy that sells the buckets .. it's actually pretty awsome with no pressure to leave or buy anything. I will miss it when the cold weather takes over and the regulars leave for the season. nice mix of exercise and being social and getting away from home. . . . i need to find more safe zones to be. the gym used to be that place a few years ago before i hurt my back and gained 40lbs . .
- on the positive side i have the ability to start slow - just walk on the treadmill for 30 mins and leave. . . 4 or 5 times a week, first thing in the morn.

I know i can do it - get back on track - i think I'm near done mourning the death of my father, my career, death of a good friend and a few other major life events . . . I'm tired of all that , i want to have fun again just for me.

:dee

Welcome back Bob, sounds like you've got some good ideals/plans laid out...hope we can help you accomplish them.

Thanks Scott

What kind of music lights up your stereo?

:thanks

Welcome back Bob.
Keep going and posting.
Hope its your last day 1

I agree with you on that .

thanks.

Welcome back Bob :)
Best advice I can give is refine that recovery plan until you get something that works...and endures :)

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...very-plan.html

the one plan that worked in the past was the short term day plan,
- just don't drink today
- make it to the pillow without having had a drink

HALT

make my tool box as big as it can be.

my recovery plan is one day at a time. be grateful for today.

Best wishes for your sobriety!

Yep, I follow: halt triggers

Hit the pillow sober every night and...

Daily mantra: “I don’t drink alcohol any more.”

“I’m finished with alcohol.”

“I don’t drink.”

“My drinking has ended.”

Same point, different words, said to myself right when I get up and all day long, whether I’m feeling good or I’m feeling bad: I don’t drink.

That is pretty much what I do!!!

i like that driving range idea that sounds like a cool way to kill some time blow off some steam and mingle with others if need be.

Day 2
 

yeah well day 2,

woke up almost bought smokes but didn't, made myself eat some oatmeal, went for a walk, felt like drinking but had a sammich instead, doctors appt and then down to the driving range for some whack FKk...

well no drinky, no smokey, no hoekee poekee ...

okee dokee

:a043:

Sounds like a good plan. Aa for alcoholism, golf for social life. If only I could hit that dang little ball I would join you:)

Bob,

Way to go. If you have a ton of spare time I vote volunteer work.

It is great way to be part of something bigger than yourself.

That is what we all can use.

We have a local USO that looks for volunteers. Safe place, free snacks.

An animal shelter is also a place I would be interested it helping out if I had more time.

Thanks.

Day 3
 

Day 3 now... argh bad day but a good day...

started out with my new oatmeal regimen and I'm not sure what happened maybe i had to go back to bed ? or maybe that was a cloudy wish but i still ended up at the park for a walk. very slow, kinda dizzy.

5 years ago i was running on these trails, one day i did a 6 minute mile and now I'm 60lbs overweight and struggling.. it took about 3 years of depression and under employment to open the door to 2 years of smoking and drinking, and depression and underemployment ... same as before but now two more.

the park has this higher area with soccer feilds and wooded trails, 116 steps up a steep hill, i used to run up, LOL . . well now it takes about 10 minutes to walk up...

i was very grumpy and groggy and felt the '*** it' voice and feelings rise up in me . . . danger, danger, danger. . .

I got my butt to the bulk food store, and a couple of handfulls of trail mix and an egg salad sammich jammed down my pie hole got my mind off cravings, ( food always gets rid of cravings ).

then down to the driving range again - great warm day here for October, shorts and a T-shirt... 60F with the sun, so it was good.

My eyes are sheet - some of my drives are landing at the 250ish area and i can't see the balls. ( it's a parking lot landing area not grass )

my energy levels are crap, my back has been messed up for almost 2 years, just a big mess of depression, back injury, weight gain, and almost no work to speak of... 52 and no prospects . but Im trying to turn things around and get back on track but with a different career, or non-career, LOL.

ALMOST lost it today - Saved by a Sammich.





There is an animal shelter here but when I've called in the past they are not very receptive and it seems like they only take angry lesbians as volunteers. . . don't laugh, i've worked at TV production companies where the main staff is gay, and when they found out i was not gay I got the boot... i've never been good at reading between the lines until it's too late.

I do have time on my hands. career / job search is what happens but not very effectively lately.

:grouphug:

Have you heard of pickleball? Its a fun sport that all ages and fitness levels can do. I just started this year. Its fun, social, low cost. Some places are indoors. Maybe you can add that to golf.

I always figure I didn't end up where I ended up in a day, so the way back is gonna take a little while.

Try and be patient and hang in there Bob - day three is better than day 0 :)

D

Bob- I have a brain. Bad thing about me tho is I cannot implement change without help. I do AA. SMART is good for every day strategies on dealing with today. Also I do a lot of CBT work with a psychologist.
It is difficult for a fish to understand air...
I was difficult for me to stop drinking.
Support to you

Keep going Bob, it sounds like you are thinking it through, have taken the essential step of recognising the problem and have started to map your way forward. Keep going and good luck with your recovery.

Today feels like . . . .
 

DAY 3 - it's dark damp cold and drizzling rain here north of 45 degrees. A bunch of bad dreams / harsh dreams about the reality of life didn't put me in a good moog... that maybe a synthesizer joke.

I made and finished my oatmeal, drinking my first coffee in days... pressure to make a website for a new repair service - and pressure to edit some video for personal promotion. I'm surrounded by disorganized 'stuff' from musical instruments, unopened letters from eons ago, traces of documents from a former career, books from school ( building code classes ) and a cat that meows louder than a fog horn to get attention.

step one : kick the cat - LOL . where did that expression come from?

If you ever have seen Simon the Cat video animation on YouTube where the cat just walks around and creates havoc only to eventually sit on the guy and then meow loudly while pointing to his empty mouth. that is my cat.

I am here on this planet and today is all i have - part of me wants to just say FK it buy a pack of smokes and a half dozen beers.

part of me wants to go back to bed.

part of me wants to go to the park for a rainy walk.

part of me says 'now is the time to go to the gym for the 5 minute treadmill challenge' - which is basically a ploy to get me back into the gym - i give myself permission to leave after 5 mins, but it forces me back to the gym to re-tweak my brain to getting back to weight lifting.

Yesterday I forgot my celery stalks at home !!! so if i leave today they are coming with me.

NOTE TO SELF - look for pickle ball leagues in the city.

don't drink or smoke today - better day 3 than day 0.

Bob, I like all the parts of you, save for the one that wants a six pack! Stick with the gym, walk, bed parts, they're the winning parts. I've watched Simon the Cat videos, and oh my, can I relate. I have two and they're naughtier and haughtier than Simon.

Congratulations on day 3!