Terrified
 

After doing so well sober I had an awful relapse this week, 80 drinks over 3 days. I've stopped now, 12 hours ago and am going through the horrible stages of withdrawal. I have medication and feel safe, just need to post

How long had you been sober before the relapse?
I would use this slip to get back on the horse and as a reminder of how easy it is to fall back into old habits.
I'm over 8 months sober and still worry that I could slip so I make sure I stay close to this site, sleep well, avoid people and places that might trigger me, talk it out with good and understanding friends and family. Just to name a few.
I hope you get back to your sober self :)

15 solid months.

Get back on that horse. Welcome back. Use this as a learning experience. What can you do differently going forward?

It just hit me. My wife's away with my daughter (I'm joining them next week), I dont tend to cope very well on my own. I need to work on strategies to overcome this

A plan helps me- even a just for today plan. The overall goal, of course is lifetime sobriety. The action is to do something today, not living yesterday or building up freakish have-not-happened about's tomorrow. You have indicated your family being away is a trigger. So- what can you do now- and in the future? Meetings, discuss strategies with a counsellor, SEE YOUR DOC, walking, cleaning, gardening, start a new project that need patience and effort..

Dirk,

15 months is solid.

Don't look at it like 15 months lost. That is depressing.

Look at it like ~450 wins, 1 loss.

Hope this helps.

Thanks.

Thank you Phoenix, good advice

You might need to do more than just post Dirk.

A plan for permanent recovery is a bit like a wheel, it needs a certain number of spokes to be strong enough to endure. I might say that your wheel was missing a few spokes. It survived 450 revolutions before it hit a pothole and collapsed.

My wheel has 12 spokes, has survived 13,677 revolutions and many potholes and is still as new. Triggers are not relevant as the problem was removed long ago when I put the 12 spokes into place.

My feeling is you are going to have to do quite a bit more towards your recovery if you want to make it permanent.

welcome back Dirk :)

If you're having trouble in the 'Home Alone' scenario it makes sense to me to increase your support base (Gottalife's suggestion of AA is one way of increasing that support) and to work a little more on your recovery plan?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

^^^^^THIS! Sorry to hear you relapsed, but if you can get right back to recovery that would be a good thing. I am in the exact same boat. I have no kids, but when my wife leaves town I tend to get myself in big trouble. Its been about 2 years for me, and she recently left town for 5 days and I made it. It was not easy, but I did it. So can you. Wishing you the best.

Wow 15 months is a great effort ! Ok a 3 day misfire , Kick the tires, and light the fires and get back to it.
Cheers

Thanks for the supporting messages. I have arranged some family to stay with me while I work through any withdrawal and temptation to drink again and focusing really hard getting myself in a better state. Will see a doctor tomorrow to check in on everything health wise

I remember one time in early sobriety, during a period of squirrelness, I called a friend in recovery. During the conversation it came out that I was at home alone. My friend screamed "Get out of the house, you are in there with a killer!!!. LOL, it sounds silly but was so very true and on point. I definitely filed that one away in my memory banks and referred back to it on many occasions.

This is my problem too. When my husband leaves I feel like I can "get away" with drinking. Don't know why I get this overwhelming feeling like if I don't go grab a bunch of poison to pour down my throat now I'll never get the chance to again?

What is it that I think I am missing out on?

How did the doctors go Dirk?

D

Good to see someone calm and rational and check out my signs et al. Not feeling terrified anymore, just anxious tired and slightly uncomfortable

Glad to hear that Dirk. Anxiety and being uncomfortable is not fun but it's also good to know that it' won't hurt you, right?

well, for what it's worth, I would give anything right now to have even 5 months sober as it hasn't happened in my adult life. No advice from me, then, but as the wise elders have said, take heart in your successes so far and get back on that horse. I'll try to follow. These old habits are hard to break. But not impossible. Hoping to join you in some sober living.