Treatment
 

I can't decide if I should go to outpatient treatment or not. I have an appointment Friday morning to talk with them, but I want to go in prepared with some information. I've been in AA in this town before, not very involved but enough that I heard good things about this place and know that they have a good reputation in AA in this town.
The thing is, they start at 5 p.m. I would not be able to leave work in time to be there unless I told my boss something. If they will let me be just 15 minutes late each evening, I could do it. But, part of what they do is take people to AA. I can go to AA on my own!
I have to have my job, my family depends on my income. I doubt my boss would let me keep working there if she knew I had an alcohol problem. I don't think she knows now. I drive the bus, I serve alcohol, it just wouldn't be a good thing for me to admit I have this problem.
How do people quit and stay quit? What am I missing? Do I have to go to treatment, risk my job and my family to find out?
Any of your thoughts, suggestions or help would be very appreciated!

I'd say ask those questions when you get there about the start time. Maybe they can be flexible, I'm sure you aren't the only person that's had a conflict. Maybe you could adjust your work schedule to start and end a little earlier too. If they have a good reputation you should at least go to find out what they are all about. Each rehab is different, but you'll be doing more than just going to AA meetings I'm sure.

The bottom line is that if you really want to be sober, it's going to take some major changes in your life. This is merely one of them you are figuring out...and you will figure it out if you try hard enough.

Thanks Scott. That rings true to me. I know I'm really sick with this. I know I really want to get well, but haven't come close on my own. I just don't want to go if there's a way I can do it without going. My problem is, when my body gets low on alcohol, I go nuts. Would trade my life for a drink. What's going to happen when I get that way and have to go to this treatment place? Last year, I went a month without drinking. I can't make more that a day now. But maybe I can, if tomorrow I put everything I have into it?
I know I'm rambling and worrying about things that I hope will be answered Friday morning. I think I'm going to try to pull out all the stops and stay sober until then, and if I can't that will make it more likely that I'll just sign up Friday. If I make it until Friday, maybe I'll tell them to give me a week and if I drink I'll definitely sign in.
Okay, so that sounds good to me. I'm going to watch the news. I use to watch Hoarders when I wanted to see people who were even sicker than me. Made me feel better about myself. Now, I can just watch the nightly news!

Sober369, I think your plan to stop drinking right now is a good one. Each day that you are sober you will have more clarity about the decisions you are making. Scott is absolutely right about making needing to make major changes in your life. If you keep in mind that recovery is about much more than stopping drinking, I think you will stay on track. You will likely need to adjust your lifestyle to support your recovery.

I don't think anyone wants to go to IOP Sober369, but if you've tried to quit on your own before and you find that difficult to sustain past a few weeks, I think you just have to accept you're going to have to try other things if you want to get into recovery and stay there?

lt's not about days, it's about a complete change.

Here some good info on what a good plan might look like to you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

D

not clear here, but if you're drinking still and driving the bus, then you're right now risking your job and much much more.
if you've tried to do this to the best of your ability in your own way and haven't been able to, seems like it's time to bite some bullets that appear unpalatable.
i don't know your workplace....is there an obligation on your employer to offer assistance and accommodate you until you can complete whatever treatment?
maybe that's an option.
sounds very drastic that you go nuts...sounds like maybe a medical accommodation and honesty about it might be an option?

Imagine the headline if something went wrong, not worth the risk of even driving hungover.

I hope you will get whatever treatment you need to get and stay sober for good.

You don't HAVE to go to treatment. I didn't and I've been sober a while now. I did it by wanting to be sober more than I wanted ANYTHING ELSE. I went to ALOT of AA meetings [like at least once a day in the beginning] and hangin' out with recovering alcoholics/addicts as much as humanly possible - and then some. If I couldn't do it face to face, I used the phone. [No internet back then]

FWIW, it's my understanding that you cannot be fired because of a legit medical condition *IF* the employer knows about said condition.. Alcoholism IS a disease.

Someone correct me if I'm wrong.

I sincerely hope you can into that treatment program and they would be flexible with your time and schedule. The program in my town starts at 6pm but they've allowed people to come in at 6 15 and even 630. It will certainly help you draw strength from others there as well. I know a man with 25 years sobriety. He said he got his start in IOP.

At least your sense of humor is intact! That made me laugh.

Really the first step is putting everything you have into wanting to be sober and stay that way. All the treatment in the world won't help if you don't want to be sober more than anything.
If you do go the rehab route, it might be best to go all out with a full inpatient stay if you can't get sober on your own or with AA. Going to rehab is considered a medical condition, so this will get you a medical leave from your job. I'm also pretty sure the reason doesn't need to be disclosed, but you can likely verify that when you speak to them.

I had this dilemna. I had been in treatment once, unsuccessful, but I had learnt the right this to say to get by. I was attending AA and there was alot of hard sell on a local treatment centre to which most of the membership had been. "Oh you must go, you'll never get sober of you don't " etc.

I had a sponsor who got sober in AA and when I taked about it with him he said if you feel the need to go, then go, if not, don't go. I didn't go, I went all out with AA. I found out later that all my line of sponsorship found permanent recovery in AA and nowhere else. They all died sober. I became a relatively rare thing at the time, what we call an AA baby.

when I was diagnosed with cancer, the last thing I wanted to do was go through chemo to treat the cancer. the other option was do nothing and let cancer kill me.
I wasn't going to sit back and let cancer kill me without doing what I could. there were risks involved with the chemo, but the benefits of taking the chemo outweighed the risks.
I got some courage and took the treatment.

I have a very busy and involved career that was actually a big part of the incentive for me to get sober after many years of drinking, I love it and did not want to lose it and the associated lifestyle. Also have many responsibilities including other people whose work depends on me. For recovery tools, I set them in a way that was affordable and convenient for me when I quit for the first time: I used SR mostly, then individual therapy, occasional recovery meetings of different kinds. It worked well for a good while until I had a relapse two years later and then, I found, I became quite immune to the old regimen. I could get sober on my own again but decided to take a stint in an inpatient rehab to make it stick better and to help me flip out of that nasty relapse mindset. As for work, I handled it like a vacation absence. After rehab, I went to many meetings of all kinds daily or so for a while, I tried out their different programs etc. I did these things quite intensively for a few months after my relapse and then found I was okay with less and have been fine since.

I think sometimes it's worth a bit of a sacrifice to do something quite different to snap out of a mindset or state of being. I imagine that if you pay for IOP (or insurance does), being 15 mins late daily could be discussed and incorporated into your treatment. I have not done IOP but am familiar with it and I think it's more than just AA or a 12-step program. For me structure and consistency is always very helpful when I am trying to get out of a destructive behavior and get to a better place. Usually it does not have to go long, a few weeks (or months, depends what it is) can be sufficient to solidify my resolve and then I do things the way it fits me best.

If you absolutely cannot afford IOP and other structured treatment, but are interested in applying it to your drinking and life, SMART meetings/literarture provide some similar concepts and disciplines (relapse prevention techniques etc).

Sounds pretty obvious that the way you were trying to quit didn't work, so a change in plan is necessary and sounds like you have several options. You said you have been to meetings but didn't really get that involved. One idea would be to get totally involved in AA. Did you get a sponsor? Do any service work? I went to an IOP and got a lot out of it. Being involved in IOP and AA worked well for me. You might also want to talk to your doctor about your quitting drinking. He/she might be able to perscribe (sp) a medication that can help you through the first two weeks or so to help with the withdrawals. Personally, I think a combination of all three would be great if you can do it, but you gotta do what you think is best for you. Good luck. John

Alcohol addiction is essentially a medical problem, and treated by medical treatment specialists, so that's really all you need to tell your employer - "I have a medical problem requiring me to leave 15 minutes early to go to a medical treatment specialist, can you accommodate that?" I'm not sure what the laws are where you live, but I think pretty much everywhere you do not need to divulge the nature of the problem, though you may need to provide proof that it's medical in nature (like, a vague note from the IOP, usually on some medical stationary that doesn't say anything about "addiction" or "mental"). Depending on where you live, your employer may be required to provide accommodations, I don't know. You can dig into whatever laws apply where you live.

An IOP, actually the second one I attended, not so much the first, saved my life, so they can be hugely valuable. Or not, it depends. The same can be said for AA meetings, they're all somewhat different, and the value ranges from lifesaving to useless for you depending on all kinds of circumstances. Whichever route you go (you can, of course, do both), you'll probably find it works best if you put it at top priority in your life. Drinking already is putting your job and family at high risk, right?

Darlking and Gottalife both made some relevant points regarding this, but I'll add another. AA is essentially functioning as a feeder/referral system for this treatment center you mention, and the treatment center is in turn "releasing" its patients into AA for aftercare.

This means that the treatment center probably employs AA members, and uses some variation of 12-Step Facilitation Therapy (TSF), which is mostly preparation for AA membership.

They may include other items, such as relapse prevention tools from SMART/CBT, which are not strictly part of AA, but the main idea will probably be to prepare you for AA. You should inquire about this.

You can find the 12-Step Faciliation Therapy Manual from NIH here:

12-Step Faciliation Therapy Manual: A Clinical Research Guide for Therapists Treating Individuals With Alcohol Abuse and Dependence

It is a long document, but you can read the short introduction, which starts on page 17 of the PDF, to get an idea of what the aim is.

I am not recommending AA, but at the same time, I also think that if you put the drink down long enough to get it out of your system, you can get something very similar to treatment from reading the book Under the Influence by James Milam, the Big Book of AA, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, and then joining AA.

Either way, you obviously have to do something about this problem, because drinking and driving company vehicles with other passengers in it is simply insane. You have crossed a dangerous line, which could easily lead to ruin.

Some IOPs may be "preparing you for AA", but certainly neither of the ones I went to, nor two other large local programs I'm somewhat familiar with, are like that. The ones around here are intensive group support, lots of specific tools to use, lots of education, and some professional counseling mixed in, and you won't get all that from exclusively going to AA or Smart or anything else. Also, all the staff are trained and licensed, with interns helping in some cases.

What they do all seem to strongly encourage, sometimes require, though, is participating in some kind of outside community support group, which is the thing that will keep you going long-term after you leave. One of the two I attended required some number of outside meetings a week (you pick the flavor), the other encouraged but did not require it.

Check it out, they're all different.

I'm really not buying that in this case, Jeffrey. Doug says that they physically drive people to AA meetings. Check it out, yes, but I would ask what exactly they are charging for.

There is a very reputable IOP clinic where I reside, which actually invented the IOP treatment model for addiction, and is known internationally, so I'm aware of what you describe.

Still, even they will strongly recommend getting involved in AA or SMART long term, where clients will in turn refer newcomers to the clinic. They host meetings for both.

It's not much different than SR in that sense, though, where people recommend what they believe has "worked" for them. The only difference is that SR is not local.

To the OP, I would simply suggest getting this problem out of your life. Don't do what I did, which was to let it continue for many years after I suspected that something was very wrong indeed.